Beyond the Wand: The Magic and Mayhem of Growing Up a Wizard

by Tom Felton

You know that person in your life who makes you feel seen? That person who is somehow a witness to all that unfolds? That person who knows—really knows—what is happening to you and what you’re going through, without anything having to be said? For me, that person is Tom Felton.

If you could boil the Harry Potter stories down to a single idea (and there are so many I am really stretching here), it would surely be about the value of friendship and how nothing of true meaning can be achieved without it. Friendships are the lynchpin of human existence,

He is on a journey of self-work, and I’m with Socrates when I say that the people who are on that journey are the only people for me.

what we have is far deeper than that. It’s one of the purest loves I can think of. We’re soulmates, and we’ve always had each other’s backs. I know we always will.

That’s true friendship, and to be seen and loved like that is one of the great gifts of my life.

Chapeau, little piece of my soul.

my home was nothing like Malfoy Manor, but a happy, fun, loving place. Draco is the product of a dark, abusive family, and I’m a product of a loving one.

I’m not Draco. Draco’s not me. But the dividing line is not black and white. It’s painted in shades of grey.

“I’ve always known I was a duck,” she said, “but I’ve spent my whole life being told I was a chicken. Every time I try to say ‘quack’ the world tells me that I have to say ‘cluck.’ I even started believing that I was a chicken and not a duck. Then we started hanging out and I found somebody else who quacked. And that’s when I thought: To hell with them, I really am a duck!”

She

meant that we were kindred spirits, that we understood each other and that we helped each other make sense of ourselves and of our lives. We’ve been quacking ever since. I know for certain that I’ll always have Emma’s back, and that she’ll have mine too.

Emma has taught me so many valuable lessons over the years, most importantly: don’t always follow the herd, never underestimate the power of a woman and, whatever you do, keep quacking.

For me, Draco’s arc in the final films gets to the very heart of one of the main themes of the Harry Potter stories: the theme of choice.

There was no discussion on set about whether Draco knows for sure if this is Harry. My opinion is that he knows exactly who it is. So why doesn’t he say so? The reason, it seems to me, is that the boy who had no choice finally gets one. He can choose to identify Harry, or he can choose to do the right thing. At every moment up until then, he’d have dobbed Harry in. Finally, though, he understands what Dumbledore told Harry early in the story: that it’s our choices, not our abilities, that show us what we truly are.

That’s why I see Harry and Draco as two sides of the same coin. Harry is the product of a family who love him so much, they are prepared to die for him. Draco is the product of a family who bully and abuse him. But when they have the freedom to make their own choices, they reach a similar destination.

It’s easy to bask in the sun, not so easy to enjoy the rain. But one can’t exist without the other. The weather always changes. Feelings of sadness and happiness deserve equal mental screen time.

“I’m happy we won the footy.” “I’m pissed off the ref didn’t give that penalty.” “I’m so excited to see who they sign next.” If we apply such a passionate tongue and eager ear to something like football, for instance, why wouldn’t we do the same about the unspoken stuff?

If rehab is nothing

more than time devoted to looking after yourself, how can that not be time well spent?

We live in a world where we seem increasingly in need of ways to unify ourselves, ways to build bridges and feel as one.

asked me a question: “Are you a rich man?” I barely knew how to answer. I’m not sure I entirely understood the question. He told me he was a rich man, not because he had wealth but because he had his family around him. He knew what was important in life. He knew no amount of money, fame or praise would

ever make him content. He knew to help people, and it would naturally pass on to others. Now I understand that too.

The only true currency we have in life is the effect we have ...

Do you have any idea who I think I am? It can be a charming way to ease that awkward moment, but it hints at a deeper truth, too: often, those of us in the public eye have no idea who we think we are. Our sense of self is skewed. Our vision is blurred.

those memories were everything to do with Draco and nothing to do with Tom. Even though that’s how it’s always been, it can be disorientating. It can cloud the answer to the question “who am I?”

It led me to reflect that we’re all lost to some degree, but, to paraphrase a line from a song of mine, some people are loster than others. To know that a person might be a little less loster as a result of reading about my experiences fills me with more joy than I can express.

We need to think for ourselves, but not by ourselves. We need to use the internet, and the freedom it gives us, as a benevolent force.

we’re only ever going to change the world for the better through discussion, through listening to other perspectives and—most

importantly of all—through kindness.

Tom, he was saying, you haven’t done anything yet. You’re only just getting started. Chapter one may be over, but let’s not look back, let’s look forward. Let’s move on to the next thing, Tom, because the best is yet to come.