Alchemised

by SenLinYu

Remembered that she’d been placed there as a prisoner, kept preserved, but someday, someone would come for her.

She had to endure. To stay alert. That way she would be ready. She had to stay ready. She would not let herself fade away.

“when I heard it was you I’d be getting, I was looking forward to breaking you.” He shook his head. “But I don’t think it’s possible to exceed what you’ve done to yourself.”

“Do I know you?” she asked as her eyes slid closed. “I suppose you do.”

She was not so foolish as to mistake calculation for kindness.

“And in the future, if you’re curious about something of mine, you may ask.

“Your friends must have thought very little of you, if this seems like care.”

“Those difficulties are because she is resisting, because she can resist. This—she is the animancer.”

“The Undying. You’re his source of power, and the Resistance—we figured that out, didn’t we? How to kill him. How to kill all of you.”

“What did he do to you?” he asked in a low voice, kneeling next to her.

jaw. “If I’d known what pain you’d cause me, I never would have taken you.”

“But at this point I suppose I deserve to burn. I wonder if you’ll burn, too.” His face was so close the words brushed against her lips, and his mouth crashed against hers.

But the world slipped from her grasp. She was dimly aware of her legs being lifted onto the bed, the duvet pulled over her. “I’m so sorry.”

“I have warned you, if something happens to you, I will personally raze the Eternal Flame. That isn’t a threat. It is a promise. Consider your survival as much a necessity to the Resistance as Holdfast’s. If you die, I will kill every single one of them.”

“Do you remember Kaine Ferron?” Helena stifled an incredulous laugh. Everyone remembered Kaine Ferron. He’d murdered Luc’s father by ripping out his heart at the foot of the Alchemy Tower.

“Kaine Ferron has offered to spy for the Resistance,” said Crowther.

“I mean that time has allowed this country to begin questioning what is divine, and whether it matters. Our Principate can alchemise gold and wield holy fire. Two gifts of exceptional rarity. Once, that was miracle enough. But the world has changed, and the Principate has not. Morrough can raise the dead and grant immortality. The Ferrons have found a way to turn their lowly iron into seemingly infinite mountains of wealth. In a world like that, what purpose is there in fire or endless gold?”

“How could immortality be a punishment? It’s what everyone wants.”

“Don’t die, Marino. I might miss you.”

“Just—one drink,” she said, her voice barely wavering. He smiled. The first real smile she’d ever seen from him. “One drink,” he said. He pressed a finger beneath the decanter she held, lifting it up, and watching as she brought it to her lips.

“You’re like a rose in a graveyard,” he said, and his lips twisted into a bitter smile. “I wonder what you could have turned into without the war.”

:((((<3

“Pace, check Marino.” Was that Crowther’s voice?

“Maybe that’s what they had to tell themselves, to live with it. Maybe it’s all they let themselves remember,” Helena said, but she, too, wondered that anyone who’d seen war’s true face would let it be so gilded.

“You have an interesting intuition. I may have underestimated it,” he finally said. “I can’t say I’ve ever thought much of vivimancy. However—you do the Eternal Flame credit.”

“Don’t die, Kaine,” she said. The line he walked frightened her. If the array was the punishment for a failure, what would the price of betrayal be? A smirk twisted his mouth as he looked at her. “There are far worse fates than dying, Marino.” She nodded. “I know. But that one you don’t come back from.” He gave a bitter laugh. “All right, then, but only because you asked.”

As if this was the consequence of her request that he not die, she was instead forced to witness the misery of his inability

Women were always defined by the lowliest thing they could be called.

“You don’t get to lie to me and then get angry when I make the mistake of believing you,”

Despite how cold he often was, a dragon was an apt sigil for the Ferrons. He kept walls of ice around himself, but there was fire in his heart.

For the first time, Kaine Ferron was fully human to her. She’d slipped through his walls and peeled away the defensive layers of malice and cruelty, and found that there he carried a broken heart. She could use that.

“I’m sure there’s something poetic in it all, but right now all I feel is a new set of manacles.”

“You are not replaceable,” he said, his hands trembling against her shoulders. “You are not required to make your death convenient. You are allowed to be important to people. The reason I’m here—the reason I’m doing any of this—is to keep you alive. To keep you safe. That was the deal.” He searched her face. “They didn’t tell you.” She shook her head, giving a broken sob and—before she let herself think—she kissed him.

She didn’t know if what she was doing was holding on or letting go.

“I should have known—the moment I looked into your eyes, I should have known I would never win against you.”

“You’re mine. You swore yourself to me. Now and after the war. I’m going to take care of you. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you. You don’t have to be lonely. Because you’re mine.”

She was locked in the dangerous embrace of Kaine Ferron, and it felt like home.

She reached out, her fingers brushing back his hair. “Don’t worry. I’m always going to come back to you.”

If he couldn’t hide her, he would hoard her to himself as much as he was able to. She’d fallen for a dragon.

“Being alive is not the same as living. I hope someday you’ll have a chance to realise the difference.”

She told him in the way she let go of herself and held on to him instead. With every beat of her heart. I love you. I will always love you. I will always take care of you.

“Mine. You’re mine,” he said as he kissed her. “Always.”

Someday, she promised herself, someday I am going to love him in a moment that isn’t stolen.

have a long goodbye in front of us. I don’t want to fight you, but I will not do anything that puts you at further risk.”

“Every time you asked, I promised I was yours. Always. There aren’t any exemptions or expiration dates on always.”

“I didn’t realise how much a part of me it was till it was gone,”

“I’m sorry—I’m sorry—I’m so sorry for everything I did to you,” he said, his voice hoarse and broken. “I love you. You left, and I’d never told you.”

“It’s female.”

I’d rather die in your arms.

“I know you don’t want to believe it’s possible, because hoping terrifies you. But I would rather die trying to save you than live knowing there was a chance and I didn’t take it.”