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July 31 - August 2, 2025
Help! Need to hide this body. It’s bigger than expected, and I can’t lift it alone. Bringing in reinforcements didn’t help. May need to dissolve it in acid.
I know a guy who specializes in these situations.
Very funny. But seriously, this thing is turning into cement. I’ve tried everything short of an exorcism.
Have you considered that maybe it WANTS to be cement? Follow your dreams.
Since when are you this philosophical about baking disasters? Usually, you’re ...
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Speaking of which, what’s your preferred method of body disposal?...
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What happened to murder is bad for business? You feeling okay?
Murder is excellent for business if you know how to market it. To die for takes on a whole new meaning.
Though, if you’re really struggling with disposal, I have some creative suggestions. Professional experience.
Your silence is concerning. Did the body win?
Um…. So, funny story. I think I have the wrong number. I was trying to text my sister about a cake disaster...
A likely story. That’s what all murderers say. “Oh, I was just baking!” Meanwhile, there’s a body in the mixer.
I swear it’s just cake! Though, at this point, it might be classified as a weapon of mass destruction.
Pics, or it didn’...
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Are you sure you want evidence of my crime? I type back.
I’ll risk it. Show me your worst.
Behold, the scene of the crime,
This is the most beautiful crime scene I’ve ever witnessed. Though your murder weapon needs work. Too obvious. Cake is amateur hour.
His next message comes with a photo—firm hand wrapped around a coffee mug, sleeve rolled up to reveal a muscular forearm that makes my breath catch. In front of him...
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Can’t all be professional destroyers...
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Though, I will say my sourdough starter has seen things.
Your sourdough starter sounds dangerous. Does it have a name?
Bertha. She’s beautiful and terrifying. Now, a baker like you would have a starter, too... I won’t believe you if you say otherwise.
Name?
Chonky. He’s my dad’s legacy - three years strong and still terrorizing health inspectors.
“I have no issues sharing you with my friends,” he whispers against my ear. “They’re my everything. But you’re mine first.”
“I’m going to fuck you every which way,” he mutters. “Bent over the counter, legs wrapped around my waist. Face-down in my bed, where I’ll keep you for hours. On your hands and knees, letting me watch as you come all over my cock.”
“I’ll have you in the shower, slick and dripping, my hands in your hair as I fuck you against the glass.” His lips drag over my jaw, sending a full-body shiver through me. “On the floor, on the stairs, in my truck while I make you scream my name for anyone passing by.”
“It’s all yours,” he states, his words thick with satisfaction. “Every last drop, every inch—I was made to fit inside you like this.”

