The truth is, I don’t know why I’m pushing myself this hard, why I’m striving so hard to be perfect. Maybe because everything else in my life feels so out of control lately. Maybe because this is the one thing that’s mine, that I’m reclaiming, that I refuse to let anyone take from me ever again. The only thing I can control. I hate feeling so raw and exposed in front of anyone else, especially Saint. I hate that I’m failing at the thing I love the most and that it brings to the surface the fact that I’ve let my parents control my life this badly, that I gave up my passion because I was too
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