The Bad Boy Rule (Hellcats Hockey #1)

by Maren Moore

very interested in this back story

so she really does have a virginity pact?

“I mean… from this point forward, fuck the good guy. The one with the perfect mask in place. Look where that got me. Cheated on. Heartbroken. Used. I’m going after the type of guy my father would hate. Not only because it’ll send him completely over the edge, and I can’t wait to see it, but because the bad boys? They’re the safe bet. They don’t want wives. They don’t care about anything but having fun, no strings attached.” I shake my head. “Me telling Chandler to fuck off and throwing his shit in his front yard was clearly not enough to send a strong enough message that I’m done with him, but moving on with a guy that’s his polar opposite, and a guy out of my father’s nightmares… sure as hell would.”

“Yeah, I’d pay money to see you walk in with someone like your new ‘skating partner.’ Can you even imagine his face if you rode up on Saint’s motorcycle in a freaking Chanel gown?”

“The one and only rule: don’t fall for the bad boy. Under any circumstance, do not let yourself get caught up in all of his charm. It’s a trap, and if you think being hurt by a trust fund fuckboy hurts…

“Trust me, the last thing I have to worry about is falling for Saint Devereaux. Hell will freeze over before I catch any kind of feelings for its ruler.”

He fucked with my family, so I’m going to ruin his.

i’m not saying it’s right, but i expected worse

“Don’t forget, Golden Girl, that you’re mine to kiss… touch… whatever I want. Even if it’s just for show.”

I’m angry at my father for being the one to take it all away from me and at myself for allowing him to. For putting my parents’ wants and needs, their dreams, over my own.

The truth is, I don’t know why I’m pushing myself this hard, why I’m striving so hard to be perfect. Maybe because everything else in my life feels so out of control lately. Maybe because this is the one thing that’s mine, that I’m reclaiming, that I refuse to let anyone take from me ever again. The only thing I can control. I hate feeling so raw and exposed in front of anyone else, especially Saint. I hate that I’m failing at the thing I love the most and that it brings to the surface the fact that I’ve let my parents control my life this badly, that I gave up my passion because I was too blind to see it. I hate that all of this goes hand in hand, and it makes me see things for what they really are. And it suddenly feels like too much, like I’m caving under the weight of it all.

The truth is I didn’t want to see her get hurt, especially not from punishing herself. I recognized in her the same thing that I do to myself, pushing my body until it’s ready to break to escape whatever fucking demon of the day I’m running from. Fucked-up recognizes fucked-up.

The perfect prey made for a predator to devour with sharp teeth. And that predator is me. I’ll be her villain. I’m the big, bad wolf, and the only thing I’m hungry for is the taste of sweet little Lennon.

She doesn’t have to say it out loud for me to know that it’s true. I can read her like a fucking book, with my eyes closed if I had to. Her body betrays her in ways that her mouth never would.

“I’m staring because you look good enough to fucking eat, and all I can think about is laying you down right here on this ice, flipping up that little fucking skirt, and seeing just how good your sweet little pussy tastes.”

oh this is gonna be good. also, poor girl

It hits me that I’ve never seen a real smile from him, not like this. I’ve seen him with shit-eating smirks, cocky grins, crooked smiles after he says something that makes my cheeks feel like they’re on fire. But this smile… God, it’s blinding, lighting up the room, and I’m transfixed. I can’t stop staring. I don’t want to take my eyes off him for even a second for fear that I’ll miss it.

“Never have I ever kissed someone in an elevator.” His low, raspy words suck the rest of the air out of the room, specifically from my lungs. “Never have I ever wanted to kiss the girl who’s driving me fucking insane with how badly I want my lips on hers in a broken elevator where she looks so goddamn beautiful I feel like I can’t even breathe.” He adds the next part as if he needs to make it even more clear to me that I’m the girl he kissed… or intends to.

“That’s just because there’s no air-conditioning.” My words are breathless. His lips twitch. “No. It’s you.”

And then, you know, when he became your kind of fake boyfriend-ish in a way, that absolutely sealed the deal. I hate to break it to you, babe, but this was inevitable.”

i see bestie is familiar with the fake dating trope

i do love a dick piercing moment

There’s a possessive place inside of me that’s preening with the fact that I’ll be taking all of her firsts. That no motherfucker on this planet will have them. It’s fucking mine. She’s fucking mine.

“I was complacent in my own suffering. I’ve spent so long being the dutiful, perfect daughter who always does as she’s told that I didn’t even realize how out of control I’ve been of my own life. I didn’t even realize anything was wrong.”

But my father is a different story. He’s supposed to love and protect me, but it feels like all he cares about is how I fit into his agenda. It was like the final nail in the coffin for all of the things I had already been unhappy with. It just really hurts to realize your parents might not care about your own happiness because they’re too focused on how you can help theirs. So I guess now I’m just trying to take back my life, but it’s hard, you know? He’s still my dad.”

tbh me too

“Why did you come here, Saint?” “I didn’t know where else to go.” It’s a whisper, his voice rough and uneven as he pauses, holding my gaze. “You’re the only thing in my life that feels right anymore.”

I just took off. I didn’t even know where I was going at first. I just knew that I had to get out of there and try to clear my head, to process what had happened. And then… I just ended up here. I think I was always going to come to you; I just didn’t realize it until I was halfway here. I needed you, Lennon. Fuck… I just needed to see you, to touch you. I knew I’d be okay if I could just get to you.”

high key this is a phenomenal declaration of love

“Trust me when I say I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my fucking life. Don’t ever doubt the way I want you.”

“You know what you taste like, Golden Girl?” I look down at him, cataloging his hard, possessive stare, mouth hovering over my pussy. “Mine.”

thank you for the realism - signed a girl with tatts on both ribs, my sternum, and 8 fucking finger tatts

That should be your motto from here on out. Be wild, be rebellious. Total fucking anarchy, Lennon. Fuck it.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing, Lennon. And I’m fucking terrified. Terrified that I’m going to fuck up the best thing that’s ever happened to me, terrified that I’ll never be worthy of you no matter how hard I try. But you’re in here.” His fingers curve around my wrist as he lifts my hand and places it on his chest, directly over his heart. “In so fucking deep.”

“I don’t know what it means, and I have no fucking clue where to go from here… I just know that I don’t want to be without you. I can’t be without you, baby.”

“It’s okay, Saint. It’s enough for me. You are enough for me. I don’t need the perfect words; I just need you. However that needs to be, okay? We’re just going to be us. That’s it.”

It feels easy to say in the midst of all the complicated because being with Saint is effortless. Falling for him was as easy as breathing. I think I actually started to fall long before I ever realized it. I was filling my lungs with pieces of him this whole time, never once noticing that he was tangling himself inside of me.

“You’re right, it is such a great cock.”

“Sorry, I know it’s probably such a foreign concept for you to wrap your little brain around—Giving a girl an orgasm.”

“Fuck, Len, what the hell are you doing?” “That’s none of your business, Chandler. You lost that privilege when you cheated on me. When you used me. When you fucked my friend. When you had audacity bigger than your little-ass dick to look me in the eye and ask for another chance without even being sorry for what you did.”

“Contrary to what you might think, Dad, my life doesn’t revolve around you and what you want. I have my own feelings, my own dreams, my own needs. Saint is my boyfriend, and if you’re making me choose… I’m going to choose him. Every single time. You’ll lose me. Is that something you’re prepared for?”

Hearing him say that shit about the girl I love was too fucking far.

“Unlike you, I will always put your daughter first. There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for her. No line I wouldn’t cross. One day, she’s going to find out about all the fucked-up, disgusting shit you’ve done to get ahead, and you know who’s going to be there when she does? Me, motherfucker.”

“You’re in here, Lennon. I tried to fight it, I tried to lie to myself that I wasn’t falling for you flat on my face, but I can’t. You’re the only good in here. It’s you. You make me want to be the man that’s worthy of loving you. I want to be the man you deserve, the man that makes you proud. The man who puts your happiness before his own. I want to be strong, and steady, and good for you. I want to be the man you run to when it all falls apart because you know I’m going to be here to catch you, baby, every fucking time.”

“You’re right. You did fuck up. You made a mistake that hurts me. But Saint… When you love someone, you don’t leave. You don’t walk away when it’s too much. When they make mistakes. I don’t need you to prove anything to me, Saint. You already have. And you just proved it again. You defended me, protected me, sacrificed for me. That’s what you do for the people you love. So no, I’m not going anywhere. Not now and not a year from now. Not ever. We’re both probably going to make mistakes, do things wrong sometimes, but what matters is that we don’t give up on each other. No matter how hard it gets.”

idk but i feel you