There’s another harm when parents press their children to perform tasks their little brains aren’t yet capable of executing. Pushy parents often become disappointed, displeased, or angry when their kids don’t perform—reactions children can detect at an astonishingly young age and want desperately to avoid. This loss of control is toxic. It can create a psychological state called learned helplessness, which can physically damage a child’s brain. The child learns he can’t control the negative stimuli (the parent’s anger or disappointment) coming at him or the situations that cause it.
