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As tempting as they were, European men just weren’t doing it for me. A strange phenomenon. But I choose not to dwell.
“Text me this man’s full name, home address, and workplace. God forbid anything happens to you, but I’d at least like to know who to murder and where to find him.” “You, murder? At least admit you’d hire someone to do it.” “I won’t admit to anything,” he says,
“Do you think we can take him out for a bit? So I can hold him?” Marry me. What?
“Suddenly I’m understanding the long line of women clamoring to get with you,” Jenna says, shaking her head. “You have to know how insanely adorable this is, right?” “You’d be surprised how often I’ve struck out talking about Eddie.” “I find that highly disturbing,”
I’m starving. Completely starving but I don’t have it in me to go out there just yet. Besides, I doubt she’s making any extras this morning. No one cooks breakfast for Good Time Finn. That’s the whole point of him. You fuck, and life goes on.
“Finn,” she says quietly. “Are you up?” This would be the ideal time for words to come out of my mouth. Any second now. Any. Second.
But it still feels like I’ve offered her a piece of me this morning, one of the jagged edges from the inside of my chest. I wonder where she’s keeping it.
“You will? Should I pre-heat some Bagel Bites?” I smile over my shoulder, reaching her door. “Quit the dirty talk or last night’s gonna look like child’s play.” “Hot, steaming Bagel Bites with gooey cheese that just melts in your mouth—” “La-la-la,” I call from my room. “I can’t hear a word you’re saying.”
ME: Can’t. There’s been no romance, Juju. JUDE: Admit it. ME: We’re friends. JUDE: ADMIT IT. ME: Okay, you’ve officially lost it. Let’s grab dinner tonight. I need to check up on you. JUDE: May I casually point out that you’re suggesting dinner with me on a night where Finn is working? ME: No. You may not.
I’d hoped it was a blatant excuse to cop a feel. No such luck. The man seems to have roped me into some kind of friends-with-cuddle-benefits situation.
I’m the guy with a pet turtle. Take it or leave it.
You know how I get when I go too long without sex. Soon my hair will start falling out, I’ll get all shriveled and wrinkled—”
“Go to him,” Theo says, unmoved. “I don’t see what good it’ll do to talk to me about this.” “Theo,” Jude says lightly. “You know that thing we did in the backseat of your car a couple months ago? If you tell us—” “He talks about you constantly,” Theo blurts, staring at Jude all wide-eyed.
“You could try to make him jealous? Oh—you could get a fake boyfriend!” I wave away the suggestion. “That never works. They always end up staying in their fake relationship.”
he touches a hand to my hip, bringing his lips to my forehead. “We’ll get him to spill. Just wait and see.” He leads me out behind them, and a single thought pops into my mind as we meet the warm summer night: I’ll get you to love me. Just wait and see.
I know a recon mission when I see one. And that’s exactly the feeling I get before I even catch sight of the three of them huddled in a booth by the bar.
And don’t, under any circumstance, get drunk enough to follow her into bed when we get home.
That’s how she deserves to live her life. In constant ecstasy. And anything that gets in the way of that, her mom, her sister, the fucking doorframe she stubbed her toe on this morning, it deserves to be set on fire.
I don’t remember how it started. But it’s a reflex, and the second my lips hit her forehead, the second I pull back to absolute crickets at the table, I know I messed up. Committed a fatal error.
I don’t know what I was thinking, anyway. Romantic feelings are kind of a prerequisite for jealousy. Of course, he didn’t fall for it. But my nanny didn’t raise a quitter.
He says Jenna Fucking Carling like he’s talking about someone else. Some ancient mythical goddess, honored around the world with shrines and monuments.
“Jenna Fucking Carling has owned this turtleneck for years. Jenna Fucking Carling loves this turtleneck. It suits her.” “It’s true. Everything suits Jenna Fucking Carling.
“And when you doubt yourself again or forget who you are even for a second, you come to me. I’ll remind you that you’re Jenna Fucking Carling. Every. Single. Time.”
“I’m a giving guy.” “I wouldn’t know.” His brows twitch. “Are you taunting me, Jenna?” “Is it working?” “Yeah. It’s fucking working.”
Tell me what you want from me and I’ll give it to you.”
She pokes my cheek just as I mentally impale her would-be husband with a long, gleaming sword I definitely don’t own. So much for petty sabotage.
“Jenna, I have a hard time picturing you getting married because I wouldn’t have you to myself anymore. And I have a hard time accepting that there’s a guy out there who’s worthy of my dream girl.”
Does she ever picture it? That alternate universe where we’re something we’re not? It’s a nice one. I never feel lonely when I’m there.
“Finn,” she says, eyes growing wider by the second. “I’m not trying to squash it. I’m telling you I have feelings for you, and that I want to be more than friends.” Oh… What is that? Why does it feel like I’m both levitating and a second from throwing up? Why did everything go kind of blurry just now? What’s with this goddamn burning in my throat, and how do I make it stop?
Why does the way her hair falls across her cheek make me want to weep? Why does that single freckle under her eye make me feel like I can scale a fucking mountain, no training required?
“Sorry about that.” Hayley lets herself get swept into the one-armed hug Jenna offers her. I still have her other hand in a deathgrip. “I thought for a second I was tripping on LSD again. And then I remembered I was pregnant.” “When the hell did you take LSD?” I frown at Hayley. Jenna pats me on the shoulder. “Some things you just don’t need to know about, kid.”
“Here,” Hayley says, handing me the dishes. I realize she’s whispering. We’ve been whispering for eleven years, haven’t we?
“Yesterday you asked about the forehead kisses. What they meant. And I lied to you.” His eyes tick up, meeting mine. “Ask me again.” I’m not breathing. “What do they mean?” He gives me a little smile. “They mean I constantly crave the way you feel. They mean I can barely muster a thought about anything but you. They mean I wake up in cold sweats most nights, thinking about how much it would scare me to have you, and how bad it would hurt to lose you.”
“I kiss on the first date.” I breathe out a startled laugh and he grins at the sound of it. I fist his shirt, pull him closer so that we’re chest to chest. Pounding heart to pounding heart. “I love that about you,” I murmur.
If you want to interview after you’re back from your trip, then by all means, I’ll wait. As long as you keep it to four weeks away.” Theo glances at me. I give a tiny shake of my head. “Three weeks,” he amends. “Tops.” I clap my hands together. “She’ll take the deal.”
“Jenna tells me you have a job. That’s good.” Finn’s thumb stutters as it strokes my hand. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him working very hard to suppress a laugh. “Wow. It feels like you already know me so well.”
“You want me to burn the place down?” I smile at the sound of her soft laugh. “You’d do that for me?” “Definitely. I’d Bonnie and Clyde the hell out of life with you, Jenna. It’s not even a question.”
“I don’t know how to recover from this. Every second we’re not fucking is a second wasted, from here on out.” “Quit your job. Quit everything but me.” “Fuck yeah,” he breathes, awed like I’ve just given him the secret of the universe.
In the morning, Jenna doesn’t have to ask. I hop into the Wrangler on the passenger side, and with a happy squeak she runs around to the driver’s seat.
Finn clears his throat. “So, as you know, we’re in love. We were just on an amazing trip, sitting on the beach at sunset. And then I had one of my usual strokes of brilliance—” Theo snorts. “These things, they just come to me sometimes,” Finn continues, undeterred. “Do they?” Theo pipes in.
