More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Ant Decker. Number eight. The Vipers’ first-line right-wing and asshole extraordinaire. And when I say asshole extraordinaire, you better believe I mean it. The man is a total dick who, for reasons I’ve always struggled to understand, decided to make me his archrival when we were little more than kids.
Some people feel close to God at church or in nature. For me, it’s an enclosed space with boards, bright spotlights, and water you can walk on.
“Talk to him, but be nice ’cause he’s the babiest babygirl in the whole wide world, so make sure he gets special babygirl treatment.”
As if it’s nothing. As if it’s perfectly legal to have an ass like that. As if it’s not in the least bit problematic to be standing in the middle of a room, cavalier as you fucking please, with a jock strap cutting fine lines into your flesh.
“I’d like an apology,” I say when I’m able. Decker blinks twice and his lips quiver with the effort it costs him not to laugh. “I’m sorry I made your dick hard, Princess.”
His beard is thick and soft. Softer than I thought it would be. I mean, softer than I’d have thought it would be if I was the type of guy who thought about things like how a man’s beard might feel.
“I’m going to kiss you, and”—he takes my head in both hands and holds me firmly in place as he closes the space between us—“I want it to hurt you as much as it’s going to hurt me.”
Fuck. I’ve gone and grown up without meaning to.
“Careful, Princess. Keep this up, and you’ll end up on your knees with my dick in your mouth.”
I touched a man. I finally, finally did it, and holy shit, I loved it.
Long story short, I owe Robbie McGuire ten thousand dollars. I’m not happy about it. Not to sock shame anyone, but if you insist on walking around hotel rooms in nothing but boxer briefs and the sluttiest socks known to man, this is the kind of shit that happens.
“Decker.” He said it softly, as though that made it better. As though that made it less real. Less scary. “Tell me I’m pretty.” I lost it. I fucking lost it. Reason. Reality. Humanity.
“You smell like something I want, Decker. Something I need.”
If he needs to sit on something that badly, he can sit on my fucking face.
Robbie McGuire isn’t delusional. Or if he is, he’s not the only one. This is a date.
There’s nothing to confess because she already knows. She knows everything, and I’m pretty sure it’s not because of how well she knows her son. It’s me. It was my face when I saw Robbie when I got here. It’s the way I smiled when he hugged me. It’s not the way he looks at me that gave us away. It’s the way I look at him.
“But also, I know this time it’s different. It’s unlike the other times I fell in love because this time…” He kisses me again, softer. Deeper. “This time, it’s the last time. The last time I’ll ever fall in love. It’s you and me, baby, from now till the end. It has to be ’cause I’ll never feel like this about anyone else.”
He holds me and rocks me gently, whispering, “I love you,” over and over. He says it until I start to believe it’s real. That it’s really happening. That he means it. That this is my life. He says it until I start to believe it.
His beautiful face. His mouth. His cheekbones. His eyes and all the good things they contain, and holy shit, how did I ever think I could come within a hundred feet of this guy and not fall for him. I must have been fucking insane. I had no chance. No choice at all. I never did.
“I love you too, Princess. I tried not to fall for you. I really did. But I couldn’t help it.”
I want his hand in mine. I want it so much that I’ve started suspecting I want it more than my right to privacy. More than I want to stand on my principles. More than I want people to remember my stats.
but you know what, now that it’s done and I’m out, it’s astonishing how few fucks I have to give about what anyone thinks. I’ve got Robbie. What do I care about anything else?
At this point, I doubt I could tell up from down if you questioned me under torture, but ask me to draw a map of every freckle on Robbie’s body, and I swear, it’d be the easiest A I ever got.
“I did it, Ant,” he says. “I found something I’ll love forever.”
