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“Like teaching ankle biters how to play hockey?”
“Probably more like teaching ankle biters to skate.”
Nobody wears a suit like that to eat greasy bar food, but I’m pretty sure Hunter wears a suit to fuck his wife, so him wearing it here probably shouldn’t be a surprise.
Anyone else get roped into helping with the Hockey Tots? Hendrix Is that like tater tots?
I thought you liked kids. Ares I like my own kids. Does that count?
Yeah well, I like making the babies too, shithead.
Sex with my sisters is gross. Cross Nobody told you YOU should be having sex with your sisters.
Yeah, Henny. Incest isn’t cool.
“Okay, short stack.” “I’m a full stack, thank you very much,”
I understand needing to be a responsible adult . . . but seriously. Every day? Like every single day? That seems a bit excessive.
It has nothing to do with the zing. The zing was a fluke. It had to be. I don’t do zings. Not in a really, really long time. Zings and I have had words. Not nice words. Unkind words. Words I try hard not to use in front of my daughters. Zings are no-good little scoundrels.
he could definitely be a book boyfriend in the making.
“Seriously . . . ? You teach little kids to skate and what—work on cars in your spare time?”
I mean, I figure we should be on a first-name basis if I’m going to look under your hood.”
My mother did not raise a quitter. She did, however, raise someone who has a flair for dramatics mixed with a teeny, tiny attitude problem.
At least he’s in for a surprise . . . The crunchy stuff is usually burned macaroni.
“It’s meatloaf. Meatloaf never sounds great.”
You say potato. I say vodka.
Don’t say sexcapades and Mom and Dad in the same sentence.
“Maybe if you’d come out of the cave every once in a while, you too could undress a date instead of just writing about it.”
You have surgeries, and I have a book due in three weeks that’s not finished.
“I mean, standards do complicate things,”
“What the hell is in the water in this town that it breeds giants?”
I’m a lot of things, but pushy isn’t one of them.
Not sure anyone has ever called my family sweet before. Feral maybe.
She needs air to fill her lungs and books to fill her soul.
I’m basically stealing from Peter to pay Paul each month. But at this point, I’m going to have to start blowing Peter to get him to hand over more money
I might be going to hell, but the line is going to stay.
Such an old-ass twenty-five-year-old.
Why the hell did I decide to go with traditional publishing and not just publish independently?
I’m not sure what it says about me that I just realized all the punishments I threaten my daughter with are my actual adult goals. Staying home. Going to bed early. Having to be quiet for five minutes.
And my favorite . . . getting spanked. I’ll never spank her, but I’m certain I wouldn’t mind being spanked once in a while.
Dust settles. Queens don’t. Keep fighting because there is no other choice.
“Adulting really sucks.” “Fuck yes, it does.”
So what? You’re going to cook her lunch? Nixon No, asshat. I’m going to eat her for lunch.
“Let’s just say there are a lot of uses for ribbons,”
Pretty sure you’ve got to have a woman around long enough to trust you for her to let you tie her up, little brother.
“Your readers wouldn’t care as long as the sex was good.” She taps her glass to mine. “Was the sex good?”
“You live with him. You can’t get more pregnant. Just have sex with him.”
“Trust me. If I had slept with that man, I don’t think I’d ever let him out of bed.
There’s no way that man can’t find a clit.
“I say use him. You live with a man who looks like a sexy beast of a race car.” When neither Caitlin nor I follow, Coraline rolls her eyes. “High-performance with sleek lines and lots of muscle. Follow along here, ladies. And he already knocked you up. Hop on and take him for a ride.”
have zero doubt my mom would tell me that was rude, but I don’t give a shit.
But I swear to God, Sinclair . . . if you hurt her, I will hunt you down, and I will scoop your balls out of their sacs with a dull teaspoon.”
“Why do you always smell so good, Leo?” “Soap,”
“I want to be your everything.” I pull the covers over her and run a hand over her face. “But you’re gonna have to let me in for that, sweetheart.”
If you speak to me before I’ve had coffee, and I’m mean, that’s your fault. Not mine.
“So that’s what it’s gonna take, huh? I’m sexy holding your babies?”
Start over. Start late. Start scared. Just start. The first step is always the hardest.
“Dude, one of you thinks I’m a fumbling virgin, getting his first taste of pussy, and the other thinks I’m a whore with a kid he’s never met. Make up your mind, guys.”
