Handy (Four Bears Construction, #8)

by K.M. Neuhold

If having a teeny, tiny, mildly obsessive crush on my neighbor means I need therapy, well then bust out the straitjacket because my ass must be unhinged.

Oh no, I can feel Awkward Rambling Mode activating. There’s no stopping it. It’s like vomit rising in my throat and there’s nothing to do except open my mouth and let it all out.

Lord help me, I am seriously standing here rambling like a moron in my underwear. Are they respectable, solid-colored boxers or briefs? Of course not. Nope, they’re the pair my bestie got me for Christmas with a woodpecker right over my dick bulge and the words “nice pecker” in big, bold letters.

Cole pats me on the shoulder and shakes his head. “Don’t think about it too hard, you’ll only end up sucked into a world where Stone-isms make more sense than the real sayings. It’s a scary place to be.” I grunt and pull my hammer out of my tool belt, more than happy to tune out all this camaraderie and focus on finishing framing the first floor today. I’m here to work, not listen to Ev talk about his teenage daughter getting her first girlfriend or Ollie brainstorm ideas of where to whisk his husband off to for their eighth wedding anniversary.

MY HEART

“You are obsessed,” he says. “All the dude has done is glare and growl at you and you’re licking the window every time you spot him outside.” “I have a weakness for grumpy bears. Sue me.”

I’ve never been the ‘come over for a drink’ guy, and I’ve definitely never sat on my deck giggling with anyone. I doubt that’s going to change now in my late forties. If I knew how to snap my fingers and change it, maybe there would be some hope that I wouldn’t have to spend the second half of my life alone. But I am who I am. Riley got that. He liked me the way I was, resting bitch face and all. Maybe there’s someone else out there who will too, but I’m not holding my breath.

The ability to make dildos when life gives you cucumbers really comes in handy.

I wore my practically see-through tank top, blatantly flirted, and hit him with tons of excellent bird facts. If Griff isn’t seduced yet then I really don’t know what else to do. Maybe a few more bird facts just to be safe?

I keep stroking his belly soothingly. I wanted to strip away his stoic outer layer, but I didn’t expect a five-second belly rub to be all it would take. My poor bear needs me even more than I realized. It’s okay, Big Bear, Ledgie will make it all better.

Did I push him too far? Did I say something stupid? It’s hard to remember what exactly my mouth got up to while I was so focused on playing with his dick. I could have proposed marriage for all I know. Sigh. An outdoor wedding in the spring would be nice, wouldn’t it? If I promise to give him handjobs and belly rubs every day, is there a chance he would say yes?

Okay, so he can’t talk about his feelings, but if he wants to do more work for me that has to mean he wants to keep hanging around me, right? That’s a start. It’s definitely a start.

That has to mean he was looking, right? Oh my god, what if he’s been peeping at me just like I’ve been peeping at him? Breathe, Ledgie, stay calm.

Could he… could he like me? That last question fills my chest with an aching sense of hope that quickly turns to heart-thundering panic.

He doesn’t pull away though, instead he rolls to face me. Feelings I wouldn’t be any good at naming even if I were fully awake and functioning flutter in my chest and belly as he shifts close again, his soft cock nestling against my thigh and a smile already playing on his lips like his first reaction to waking up is to be happy. Cannot relate. I grunt, hoping it sounds like some semblance of a morning greeting.

Girl, you can wait five more minutes for breakfast, I’m trying to lock down a stepdaddy for your furry ass.

I don’t know who Riley was or how long it’s been since he lost him, but is it fair of me to hope he left a little piece of Griff’s heart for me? I promise to be careful with it if he did.

My insides jump and squirm. Keep it together, Ledgie. You’re in the end zone now, this is no time to act like a freak and scare him off. I can’t fight the smile though. I press my face into his shoulder and nod. I really, really want that.

“I was like this even before Riley died. On the rare occasion I tell people about him, I always notice this flash of pitying understanding, like they’re thinking ‘ah, so that’s why you’re such an antisocial, scowling asshole.’ But the truth is, this is just my face and even when I was young and nothing bad had ever happened to me, I was still a moody dickhead.”

it’s extremely fucking hot that I make this man so out of his mind horny for me that he’s willing to butter me up and stuff me like a Thanksgiving turkey. Gobble gobble, motherfucker.

I’ve never had an existential crisis before, but I’m pretty sure I’m having one right now. I’ve made choices Stone has made, and something about that feels very wrong on a cellular level.

“You shone a bright light on my life, Ledge, and you filled it with colors I thought I’d lost years ago,” I murmur roughly against his lips. “I never thought I’d fall in love again, but you made it impossible not to. Falling for you was like coming home, safe and easy and right on this bone-deep level that I can’t ignore.”