Lessons in Chemistry

by Bonnie Garmus

Worst of all, he was a rower.

Get two or more rowers in a room and the conversation goes from normal topics like work or weather to long, pointless stories about boats, blisters, oars, grips, ergs, feathers, workouts, catches, releases, recoveries, splits, seats, strokes, slides, starts, settles, sprints, and whether the water was really “flat” or not.

“Are you crazy?” “Not technically.”

When it came to equality, 1952 was a real disappointment.

Elizabeth looked at him as if he’d just asked how, with all those rice paddies, there could possibly be starving children in China.

She had been under the impression that Calvin Evans was a smart man, but now she realized he was one of those people who might only be smart in one narrow way.

“But instead,” she continued, “women are at home, making babies and cleaning rugs. It’s legalized slavery.

She sat silently, weighing his words. They made annoying sense in a terribly unfair way.

she didn’t like the notion that systems had to be outsmarted. Why couldn’t they just be smart in the first place?

while we may be born into families, it doesn’t necessarily mean we belong to them.”

“One thing I’ve learned, Calvin: people will always yearn for a simple solution to their complicated problems. It’s a lot easier to have faith in something you can’t see, can’t touch, can’t explain, and can’t change, rather than to have faith in something you actually can.” She sighed. “One’s self, I mean.”

“Anyone who knows you would never think that.” She burped the Tupperware, then turned to look at him. “That’s the problem. No one knows me.”

in fact, it wasn’t until he’d found rowing that he’d made any real kind of connection with others. Physical suffering, he’d long ago learned, bonds people in a way that everyday life can’t.

And then there was the illogical art of female friendship itself, the way it seemed to demand an ability to both keep and reveal secrets using precise timing.

Many people go to breeders to find a dog, and others to the pound, but sometimes, especially when it’s really meant to be, the right dog finds you.

To get to the point where rowing might resemble skimming, you’ve probably reached the Olympic level and the look on your face as you fly down the racecourse is not one of calm satisfaction but controlled agony.

It was a normal, productive, God-approved marriage. Did he sleep with other women? What a question. Didn’t everyone?

then took a moment to review her options. Replead case. Quit. Set fire to the building.

Elizabeth looked up at Frask, stunned. She supposed it took a certain type of skill to be able to say exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time.

No surprise. Idiots make it into every company. They tend to interview well.

“How dare you,” he said, his voice rising. “A woman telling me what pregnancy is. Who do you think you are?” She seemed surprised by the question. “A woman,” she said.

“Your days are numbered. Use them to throw open the windows of your soul to the sun,” a quote from Marcus Aurelius,

The man gasped, then doubled over in pain. The doors slid open. “Have a bad day,” she said.

“Dolphins are smart,” they’d say. “But cows aren’t.” This seemed partly based on the fact that cows didn’t do tricks. In Six-Thirty’s view that made cows smarter, not dumber.

Dr. Mason had warned her that infants were hard work, but this wasn’t work: it was indenture. The tiny tyrant was no less demanding than Nero; no less insane than King Ludwig.

There was so much to do she couldn’t even make a to-do list because making a list was just one more thing to do.

Reaching up to a shelf, she grabbed a sack labeled “C8H10N4O2,” dumped some into a mortar, ground it with a pestle, overturned the resulting dirtlike substance onto a strange little scale, then dumped the scale’s contents into a 6- x 6-inch piece of cheesecloth and tied the small bundle off.

My suspicion? His wife wrote the whole thing, then put his name on it. A man’s name gives it more authority, don’t you think?” “No,” Elizabeth said. “Agreed.”

“You seem to know a lot about babies.” “As much as anyone can ever know,” she agreed. “They’re selfish little sadists. The question is, why anyone has more than one.”

“Before I go, Elizabeth, can I offer just one bit of advice?” Harriet began. “Actually no, I won’t. I hate getting advice, especially unsolicited advice.” She turned a ruddy color. “Do you hate advice givers? I do. They have a way of making one feel inadequate. And the advice is usually lousy.”

Like most stupid people, Mr. Sloane wasn’t smart enough to know just how stupid he was.

Legally Mad, Six-Thirty thought. What could possibly go wrong?

“What? No. I’m—” “Tired? Busy? Probably going to argue you don’t have time.” “Because I don’t.” “Who does? Being an adult is overrated, don’t you think?” he said. “Just as you solve one problem, ten more pull up.”

The other day she’d suggested they make mud pies and Mad frowned, then wrote 3.1415 with a stick in the dirt. “Done,” she’d said.

“Watch where you walk. A bunch of mice escaped from the biology lab.”

“For instance, yesterday during circle time, we were discussing Ralph’s pet turtle, and Madeline interrupted to ask how she might become a freedom fighter in Nashville.”

“I don’t know. Do you believe in things you can’t see?” “I like magic tricks.” “I don’t,” said Harriet. “I don’t like being fooled.” “But you believe in God.” “Well. Yes.”

Certainly, all decent people believed in God—even indecent people, like her husband, believed in God. God is why they were still married and why their marriage was her burden to bear—because it was given to her by God. God was big on burdens, and He made sure everyone got one.

Madeline withdrew a book from her schoolbag. Five Years with the Congo Cannibals. Harriet looked back over her shoulder. “Sweetie, does your teacher know you’re reading that?” “No.” “Keep it that way.”

we never say fairy godfathers. The fairy person is always female.” “Because of organized crime?” Madeline asked. Harriet exhaled loudly in a mixture of wonder and irritation.

The problem with being a minister was how many times a day he had to lie. This was because people needed constant reassurance that things were okay or were going to be okay instead of the more obvious reality that things were bad and were only going to get worse.

I’m glad she feels she can express her belief in God and I welcome her right to do so. But I should be extended the same courtesy. Plenty of people don’t believe in God. Some believe in astrology or tarot cards. Harriet believes if you blow on dice, you’ll get better numbers at Yahtzee.”

But still, Wakely had dedicated a lot of time to this and he’d expected she might be a little more excited. Or at least grateful. Although why did he think that? No one ever expressed gratitude for his work. He was out in the trenches every day comforting people going through their various trials and tribulations, and all he ever heard was the same old tired line: “Why is God punishing me?” Jesus. How the hell should he know?

“I don’t have hopes,” Mad explained, studying the address. “I have faith.” He looked at her in surprise. “Well, that’s a funny word to hear coming from you.” “How come?” “Because,” he said, “well, you know. Religion is based on faith.” “But you realize,” she said carefully, as if not to embarrass him further, “that faith isn’t based on religion. Right?”

At Camp Pendleton, the dog was only meant to locate the bomb, not remove it—removal was the handler’s job. But occasionally some of the show-offs—the German shepherds—even did that part.

“I think it lets us off the hook. I think it teaches us that nothing is really our fault; that something or someone else is pulling the strings; that ultimately, we’re not to blame for the way things are; that to improve things, we should pray. But the truth is, we are very much responsible for the badness in the world. And we have the power to fix it.”

Courage is the root of change—and change is what we’re chemically designed to do. So when you wake up tomorrow, make this pledge. No more holding yourself back. No more subscribing to others’ opinions of what you can and cannot achieve. And no more allowing anyone to pigeonhole you into useless categories of sex, race, economic status, and religion. Do not allow your talents to lie dormant, ladies. Design your own future. When you go home today, ask yourself what you will change. And then get started.”