Burned & Bound (Love Doesn’t Cure All)

by A. Winchester

“I loved you back then just like I love you now.”

I’d take whatever the hell West would give me because I knew just how painful it was for him to share himself.

I watched the blue lights fade into the shadows until West was completely gone. A heavy sadness settled in my chest, wrapping around my heart as I let him go. What I would’ve given to be out there with him. To be what he needed.

“She taught me how to take a hit,” he continued. The sadness in his voice broke my heart. “Harrison… when he drank, he got mean. He was always an asshole, you know? But it got bad when he was drunk. He’d take it out on her. ‘Just a hit or two and he’ll cool off’. That’s what she always said… how she got us through it. Stay quiet, don’t fight back, I can take it.”

“After she died, I followed her advice. It worked most of the time. He usually cooled the fuck off after a few hits. It sucked but fighting back always made it worse.”

“Please, don’t hate me,”

“I couldn’t hate you.”

“You sh...

“I never ...

“It just hurts,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “Everything fucking… hurts…”

“I don’t know what that’s like.”

“I’ve never wanted anything for my life.”

“Not even when you were a kid?”

“I just wanted to feel safe...

“It’s not your job to fix me,” he

“I ain’t trying to—”

“I want normal, Jackson,” West said over me. The desperate edge in his voice tugged at my heart. “How are we supposed to be normal if I don’t fucking try? I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, but I’m he...

“You tell me to stop if you need me to, you understand?” I replied. When he opened his mouth to protest, I shook my head. “I mean it. Don’t push yourself if you don’t want it, West—even if that changes somewhere in the middle. I don’t care. You’re more important than anything we do together.”

Closing the distance between us, Jackson carefully took my hand. I tensed at the contact—his fingers like razors across my skin. Instead of holding my hand, he placed my fingers over his pulse before letting go of me completely. Steady and strong. The feel of his heartbeat under my fingers was soothing—a needed comfort. The simple gesture shattered something in my chest. A sob I had no hope of controlling tore through me, the quiet sound filling the silence. I buried my face in my elbow to hide from him as I lost the fight to stop them.

“It’s okay, West,”

“This right here is more th...

I was completely helpless—frozen in my spot. I didn’t know what to do. How to help him. His knees gave out, and he collapsed in the grass. Screaming filled the night as his fingers tugged on his hair. He curled into himself, his body wracked with painful sobs as something tore him to pieces from the inside out. I fell to my knees in front of him, utterly lost. I couldn’t touch him. I couldn’t fix it. I couldn’t do a damn thing but watch the man I love completely fall apart.

“Marry me,”

“What…”

“Marry me,”

sank down in a chair, my knees giving out. And as I sat there, I struggled to get out my wallet. Tucked away in the back was the same picture I’d kept in there for seventeen years. It was old and worn, thoroughly aged by time. That picture I’d taken with me the night I ran away had become a lifeline—a reminder of better times. A reminder of a world where maybe Jackson and I had a future. I didn’t recognize the kid in the picture. Deep down I knew it was me, but I was so far removed from that kid that he could’ve been a stranger. But that big smile he wore as he slung an arm around Jackson’s shoulders? I wanted to feel that kind of happiness again. I wanted that carefree feeling. I was so fucking exhausted. The weight of everything was too much, and I didn’t know what the fuck I was supposed to do. Had it always been this heavy? A sob ripped through me, bursting through every attempt I had to hold it back. I pinched the bridge of my nose as I broke down—ugly and uncontrolled. I didn’t want this life anymore.

When you asked me to marry you… I didn’t say no because I didn’t want to. I said no because I didn’t want the life I was living. I didn’t want that for either of us. You deserve better, but so do I. I’m not asking you to wait for me, Jackson, but I want you to know I’m trying. I’m trying to take back my life and trying to figure out who I am. I want to know who I am when I’m not stuck trying to survive.

Thank you for showing me that I could be more.

But what caught my attention was the new tattoo over his heart. A cowboy hat and a horseshoe.

“Is that a…”

“Did I brand myself with a tattoo for you?” West aske...

“Jesus Christ...

“That’s one way to put it.”

“I’ve always known what I wanted, cowboy.”

“I just never thought I des...

“I told you once, West, and I’ll tell you again,”

“you’re my priority.”

“And if that means selling my family ranch to be with you, then I’m sell...

“I told you that if you’d asked me years ago to leave with you, I would’ve,” he replied seriously. “You mean more to me than that ranch ever will, West. Always have, always will.”

Some people said it wasn’t fair to me—that I deserved better than everything he went through. But they didn’t see West the way I did. They’d never see him with his guard down when he felt safe and comfortable. They’d never understand how fiercely that man loved me in all the little ways that mattered. They’d never see under his armor.