Burned & Bound (Love Doesn’t Cure All)

by A. Winchester

Karma was a force of fucking nature, and it sounded like she’d handed him his ass more than a few times. Good.

If only you knew

“He hasn’t earned shit.”

“And you don’t know the full fuckin’ story,” he snapped. “You think you knew Harrison McNamara but you didn’t, boy. You think you know everythin’ about West McNamara, but you don’t, boy. I suggest you get that thick head of yours out of your ass before he shows up here. If he don’t cause trouble, neither should you. And I ain’t sayin’ more than that.”

Double Arrow Ranch: Where Everyone is Family.

Seventeen years and this girl still fucking loved me. I touched my forehead to hers. I didn’t deserve to be loved like that.

Kill me now 😫😫😖

“Sometimes, I still wonder if he would’ve been better off dead,” he admitted, his voice cracking slightly. That fucking guilt he felt? He deserved it. “Livin’ with somethin’ like that… I don’t think there’s livin’ after somethin’ like that.”

“No, y’all decided to bury your fucking heads in the sand, and for what?” I gestured around me. “For some fucking land? For fucking cows? You failed him—all of you—when you decided his worth wasn’t more than this stupid fucking business. Than a stupid fucking job!” “Now, it ain’t like that—” “It is like that!” I interrupted. How could none of them understand that? I was sure my dad probably thought the same shit. That keeping West busy here and there was enough. It wasn’t. “I would’ve burned the whole fucking place to the ground before I let him run away afraid for his life.”

“This ain’t me saying yes,”

“And I ain’t saying no either.”

“PTSD is a bitch of a thing. It shreds apart all the things you knew about yourself and then keeps on taking from things you never thought it could touch.”

It wasn’t that he was pushy in any way, but he had this tendency to just wait me out until I was so uncomfortable that I started talking.

“You know, I never liked the color yellow. It’s an ugly color.”

“Why’d you do it?”

“The paint… the locks… why’d you do it?”

“I’d rather go through hell with you, West, than watch it destroy you.”

“I’m not worth it,” I whispered breathlessly against his mouth. “You just let me keep believing that for the both of us,”

“Some people are born great, some people are born worthless, and everyone else is somewhere in between,” he told me “I know where I stand on that scale.”

😫😫😫😫😫😫😖

“This was awkward, wasn’t it?” I muttered. “Yup,” he agreed all too quickly, nodding. “Fantastic.” I dropped my hat back on my head. “See you at home, West.” “Yeah,”

“You don’t ask, you hear me?” he said softly. My brows came together in confusion. “You just tell me, okay? That ain’t the kind of thing you ask for. Just tell me to stop, West, and I’ll stop.”

“All this hootin’ is goin’ to lead to a hollerin’ if you ain’t careful.”

😭😭

“You’ll have yee’d your last haw,”

If you change your mind, it ain’t because you’re trying to screw me over. It’s because—and I fucking hope for this—you’ll finally see just how much you fucking deserve the chance at a good life outside of the God-forsaken ranch.”

“Don’t…” he began quietly, “don’t… don’t give me the power to break your heart. I’m not fucking worth that.” This man. This fucking man. He just didn’t get it, did he? “It’s too late for that,” I whispered. Taking his face in my hands, I kissed him once. Twice. Three times. Each kiss lingered longer than the last. “I loved you back then just like I love you now.”

What I would’ve given to be out there with him. To be what he needed.

Kill me now

“You need to take care of you too, Jackson,” he told me. “You can’t just take care of him. You’re no good to him if you’re drowning too.”

“Please, don’t hate me,” West whispered, the words slurring together. “I couldn’t hate you.” “You should.” “I never will.” That was a promise.

“Are you one of those weird people who fucking conditions their hair?”

😊 I’m gonna blame it on the jail time.

“I want normal, Jackson,” West said over me. The desperate edge in his voice tugged at my heart. “How are we supposed to be normal if I don’t fucking try? I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, but I’m here and I’m fucking trying. That’s something, isn’t it?”

Closing the distance between us, Jackson carefully took my hand. I tensed at the contact—his fingers like razors across my skin. Instead of holding my hand, he placed my fingers over his pulse before letting go of me completely. Steady and strong. The feel of his heartbeat under my fingers was soothing—a needed comfort. The simple gesture shattered something in my chest. A sob I had no hope of controlling tore through me, the quiet sound filling the silence. I buried my face in my elbow to hide from him as I lost the fight to stop them. “It’s okay, West,” Jackson said. “This right here is more than enough.” I wanted to believe him so fucking bad, but I just didn’t see what he did.

“I ain’t wearing the clown shoes,”

Much like Birdie, she was all prim and proper but at least her hair moved.

“What the fuck is wrong with her?” “It’s the hairspray.”

Thank you for showing me that I could be more. West

having a hard time doesn’t mean you failed. It just means you’re human.”

“I love you, Jackson. I loved you growing up, I loved you long after I left, and I still love you. I’ll always love you.”

“I told you that if you’d asked me years ago to leave with you, I would’ve,” he replied seriously. “You mean more to me than that ranch ever will, West. Always have, always will.”

I loved our life at West Haven. I loved Jackson. But most of all… I loved me.