It’s not an excuse, but it’s a major contributing factor as to why I screwed things up so spectacularly with Violet the first time around. Emotional intimacy is scary as hell for me, largely because I haven’t experienced much of it. From what I remember of my mother, she was kind and loving, but she’s been gone since I was four. From ages four to eighteen, I was on my own emotionally. Doug was worse than neglectful; he was a toxic presence in my life.
