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trying to reconcile the identity of the girl standing in front of me. Distinctive rose-gold hair falls around her shoulders in soft waves, framing a heart-shaped face with lush, full lips and whiskey brown eyes I’d recognize from a mile away. When I draw a little closer, I catch sight of the small gold hoop in her right nostril, further confirming what I already know. This is supposed to be Chase’s younger sister, Seraphina, but I remember her as the smoking hot chick I fucked in a nightclub bathroom on Halloween.
Pausing in the doorway, I grant myself the briefest moment to observe her, still taken aback by how fucking pretty she is. I’ve never used that word to describe a girl before. Hot, sure. Cute, sometimes. But she’s more than either of those. She’s pretty in the way that catches your attention and refuses to let it go.
I don’t date hockey players.” She clears her throat and juts her chin, squaring her shoulders. “Or fool around with them. Athletes aren’t my type. Plus, Chase would flip out.”
Just one reason of many I can’t afford any distractions—especially not in the form of a pink-haired girl I’ve thought about more than I care to admit.
My encounter with Seraphina at XS was top fucking tier—and it demolished my interest in anyone else after. I took it as a sign I was spread too thin and decided to focus on other things for awhile. Or on one thing, rather: hockey.
It’s a miracle I’ve made it this far with Seraphina distracting me from across the room. What I still don’t understand is why I’m so affected by her. It was just sex.
It didn’t mean anything. It never does. I’ve never thought twice about it after with anyone else.
I’m not sure why I keep gravitating toward that type when it’s like thirty-one flavors of disappointment in the bedroom. There’s a reason my nightstand drawer is fully stocked. Either I have to provide explicit, step-by-step directions like some kind of sexual GPS, or I give up and resort to taking matters into my own hands after the fact. Mind you, there’s one noteworthy exception to this rule—and he’s sitting ten feet away. Upon further reflection, I think I’ve got a new type.
Sometimes I think I’m too much to be someone’s One. Too loud, too disorganized, too extra, too messy.
This isn’t happening because listening to a racy scene got me worked up. This is because I want her. I’ve wanted her since the first time I saw her at XS—since the day she moved in.
know I’m playing with fire, but I can’t seem to put away the matches.
“Question seventeen,” Seraphina murmurs. “Do you ever think about that night?”
“All the fucking time.” I’m not a big believer in sugarcoating the truth. Plus, I t...
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“Me too.” Her throat bobs, her warm brown eyes searching mine. “Do you regret it? I mean, it’s made th...
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“No, Tink. I could never regret you.”
“This is dangerous, Tink.” “Why?” I whisper. “I don’t know if I can keep myself in check.” “So don’t.”
One kiss, and I’m completely under his spell. I’d let him do anything he wanted right now.
“I guess,” she says quietly. “I just feel lost sometimes,”
“So do I.” It’s the first time I’ve ever admitted this out loud.
“Sometimes instead of motivating me, all the outside pressure kills my love for the sport, and I’m left wondering why I’m doing it. There are days when I stand in front of the net going through the motions because I’m somewhere else mentally. I want to want to play hockey, not be forced into it because I have to. Does that make sense?”
Seraphina must have one hell of an effect on me, because I’m admitting things out loud that I haven’t even admitted to myself, let alone anyone else. Things I’ve been in deep, deep denial about for almost as long as I can remember.
“Of course I’d want to know, Tink. I love you.” The words leap from my mouth before I can think it through. I don’t know if this is the right time or if she even wants to hear it. It’s just the truth. “You what?” She turns to look at me with surprise across her face. “I love you,” I tell her, tucking a lock of damp hair behind her ear. “So fucking much. And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I don’t. None of that other stuff means a thing without you.”
“I’m saying it because it’s true. I know what we agreed to going into this, but I want more, Ser. I want you. All of you. The label, a future, you name it.”
“Y-you still want to be with me?” She can barely get the words out between her gulps for air. “Even if I might get sick or have to get surgery or—”
“No matter what. I’m all in, Ser. I’d do anything for you. Name it, and it’s yours.”
“Hockey can wait. Right now, you’re my only priority. I’m clearing my schedule. I’ll tell coach I’m out for tomorrow, too. Then I can come to your appointment if you want. Or I can be waiting for you when you get home. Either way, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
“I want a future with you. The details are negotiable. What’s important is that you’re happy and healthy, Ser. We’ll do what’s best for you, whatever that looks like.” Tears well in her eyes again. “I love you.” “I love you, Tink.”
“I’m enormous.” “You’re supposed to get bigger, Ser.” Tyler caresses the swell of my skin with his thumbs, planting a kiss above my navel. “I love your belly. That’s my baby in there.”
