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But she doesn’t understand, doesn’t understand that these men and women are family, too. That the job we do, the lives we save…it’s important. And to those of us that are in it, it’s hard to explain to others that aren’t.
I just feel so damn disconnected from everything. Like I’m here, but not.
My chest aches by the time the last of them filter through, that burning, twisting agony back full force.
Because honor is all I have in the wake of my grief.
Braxton Hicks contractions are the most useless and annoying things in the universe, I’ve decided.
The man makes me nervous. Not in a bad way… but in a ‘good lord this man is outrageously attractive and the way he watches me makes me blush’ kind of way.
The events from a week ago are both a blur and painfully clear in my brain.
My heart flutters just a little, tiny little butterflies that aren’t quite ready to take flight yet.
It’s pathetic, to be honest. I’m a hot mess on good days.
The second I saw her walk out of the coffee shop, my brain—and all my good intentions about staying away from her—went straight to hell.
“The thought of dating again is literally my worst nightmare, Vi.”
Everyone thinks teen girls gossip a lot, but they’ve got nothing on grown fucking men, apparently.
That doesn’t stop the ache in my chest from forming, though. I rub at my sternum as if to relieve the pinch of disappointment that tightens my chest.
Find something that makes you happy, because you can’t pour from an empty cup.”
It’s really incredible what good friendships can do for your soul.
Butterflies—or maybe they’re big awkward pelicans because they seem to take up a lot of space in my chest—take flight in my middle.
My brain has this really great ability to imagine the worst possible scenario.
This woman, I swear to fucking God. I’m going to change the way she sees herself.
They say grief never truly fades; it just hits less often. Fuck, when it hits though, its like a sucker punch to the center of the chest.
She shakes her head and grumbles into her wine about idiot men and their stupid penises.
I needed to have someone tell me that my feelings are valid.
“Before you open up your mouth and ask a stupid question like ‘what was that for’, you know why. Jackass,”
“I know you’ve been waiting for me to kick your ass all week, but I think you’re doing that enough on your own,” he mutters low, just between me and him. I huff out a breath and nod solemnly.
You don’t need luck. You’ve got boobs. Works better than luck.
this man is ruining my heart in ways that I am wholly unprepared for.
Dragging his mouth across mine lightly, he breathes raggedly, “But I’m so tired of fighting this. I’m crazy about you, Teddy. You’re all I think about anymore. Every waking thought and every dream at night…it’s all you. It's only been you.”
She’s this incredible mix of strength and fragility. That sense of protectiveness that I’ve felt for her for so long has only multiplied.
I’m probably overdressed, but an interview is an interview, and I desperately want to make sure I make a good impression.
“Now,” he murmurs gently, tucking that strand of hair behind my ear, his eyes tracking over every inch of my face as if trying to catalog each feature. “Want to tell me why my girl is sitting alone in a coffee shop clearly having an anxiety attack?”
God, this man. If he were any more perfect, he’d be a unicorn.
“Since when have I ever done anything to be normal?
I can’t deny that I love having his attention, his open affection, like this. It’s like a balm to my soul, and to my heart.
Wherever she is, is where I want to be, too.
I know I’m not being fair, but cornered animals rarely fight fair.
She asked me to stay and I walked away because I was too fucking proud to admit I needed her more than I needed to breathe, and that scared the hell out of me.
Xander; If you have the chance to have that kind of love in your life, hold onto it. Hold onto it with both hands, fiercely, and don’t let your pride or some misplaced sense of duty to this job keep you from it. You choose her, every time, son.
And I’ve lived the last thirty years knowing my heart was beating halfway across the country with a woman that I didn’t cherish the way I promised to.
So if she ever comes to you and asks you to choose her, and she will, if she loves you like I’m sure she will, you do it. Without question. Without hesitation. Because I promise you, you don’t want to get to be my age and realize you lost the best thing in your life. Don’t let yourself get so comfortable in this life that you miss out on something great, son.
I love you more than fighting fire, Teddy,”
“I love you, Teddy. So damn much it makes it hard for me to breathe.” “That might be a heart attack, you old ass,” King chuckles as he passes, heading back to the rig, having sent Vi and Hollie back home, too. “Might want to get that checked out, Sup.”
He tests the belt, and then lets his hand rest on my stomach. Butterflies erupt in my midsection when I realize what he’s doing. Kissing me gently, he says, “Just making sure you’re all safe. My entire heart is in this vehicle, Teddy.”
