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“I really fucking like hearing you say my name when you come, Mama.”
I want to take a bite out of his biceps like they’re big, juicy apples. Good grief. Down, kitty.
Xander has muscles on top of muscles, and I desperately want to run my hands over every solid inch of him. Shit, I want to run my tongue over every inch of him. Lick him like a damn popsicle.
“Even married, even pregnant with another man's baby, I still wanted you. And fuck I hated myself for it,” he rasps brokenly. The breath that pulls in through my lips is ragged, emotion fraught. “You have dominated my thoughts for years, Teddy.”
The man could voice audiobooks and women would swoon.
This sexy as sin man is going to make me come with just his mouth and fingers on my nipples, and I’m begging for it to happen.
Vi Well, realizing you messed up a great thing with an amazing woman will do that to you. According to Rowan, he was a mess all week. Grumpy as a bear. You think I’m amazing? Awwww. Will you marry me? Vi You’re not really my type, babe. Damn. Figures. It’s because I don’t have a dick, right? I can get a strap-on, if that’s your thing. Vi Woman, I just spit out my coffee all over myself. Now I have to go change before rounds. …So that wasn’t a no… Vi *selfie of Violette dressed in nurse scrubs covered in coffee stains and a scowl on her face*
“But I’m so tired of fighting this. I’m crazy about you, Teddy. You’re all I think about anymore. Every waking thought and every dream at night…it’s all you. It's only been you.”
“I told you I’m tired of fighting this, Teddy. I tried to. Goddamn I tried,” he breathes, shaking his head. “I know you deserve so much more, but I’d like to try to give you the world, beautiful. If you’ll let me.”
My beautiful little Teddy is loud. This is going to be fun.
“Don’t apologize,” he murmurs, ducking his head to kiss me. “It just means that I’m going to do everything in my power to get back here as quickly as I can. Because now I’ve got you here waiting for me.”
“What do you want me to say, Cal? Huh? I chose women that were the opposite of her on purpose. Because then there was no fucking confusing them for who I really wanted. I’ve been crazy about your sister for years, man. But she was married. Married to the perfect fucking husband that gave her three incredible kids that I’m just as crazy about. And then he died and I know I’m not worthy of her, dammit. I’m not worthy of those kids.”
“I convinced myself that I didn’t want a relationship because of this job, because of the way my parents’ marriage failed. Because it was easier finding women that were nothing like what I wanted than having to admit to myself that I was in love with another man’s wife.”
Leaning away slightly, I lower my hands after swiping beneath my lashes for any escaped tears, then look up at him. “You came to find me?” “You’re the first person I want to see when I come back,” he rasps, stroking his fingers along my cheek.
“Want to tell me why my girl is sitting alone in a coffee shop clearly having an anxiety attack?” My heart does this ridiculous pitter patter thing in my chest at his words. My girl. Fucking swoon.
“Whatever torture device you have on under these clothes that you think you need to keep all of this contained—” he bends low to whisper in my ear, making me shiver, “—take it off and throw it away.”
Colleen waves one hand and laughs, then winks at me again. God, I adore this woman. So off the wall and not at all what I would expect.
“I made a wish on my birthday, but now I’m scared for it to come true.” “What wish, sweetheart?” I ask gently, rubbing his back. He takes a deep breath in. “Don’t be mad…I figured since you two like each other a lot and we like him, too, that it wouldn’t be too bad. But I wished for Xander to be my new dad, since I don’t have one anymore, and I think he likes me and Penny. And baby Bea never got to have a dad… But I’m scared that if he does get to be my new dad, that he’ll die like Dad did. And then I’ll have lost two dads.”
But as I sit here, I realize I miss someone else far more. I miss Teddy with every fiber of my being. I’m not whole without her. Without Dalton and Penny and Bea. I need them, so fucking much. I love them, fiercely.
“I loved Logan. And there’s a part of me that will always love him. I will always cherish the time that we had together, and the life I had with him. But there’s no ghost, Xander. Because I love you for the days we have ahead of us. I want everything with you, this future we’ve been given. Only you. I want this, whatever it takes, no matter what it is, or how far away it takes you from us. I want to be brave for you. To take this chance with you.”
“I’m getting ahead of myself, sweetheart. First, I need to tell you that I am so sorry, Teddy. For what I said before I left, for being a giant dickhead. I knew I was being unfair to you and because my pride was stung I lashed out at you. I had a really smart man give me some big advice. And I’m going to get a lot wrong, and I’m never going to be perfect, but I want all of our days together, Teddy. The beautiful, the mundane, the scary, and the ugly ones too. But I want you with me for all of them. I want this family. I realized that I can’t walk away from you again. I can’t walk away from
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“I need you like I need air, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure we have everything in this life that I can. I want every fucking day with you. You are my forever, sweetheart. And I’m not waiting for that to start.”
“What are you doing?” He tests the belt, and then lets his hand rest on my stomach. Butterflies erupt in my midsection when I realize what he’s doing. Kissing me gently, he says, “Just making sure you’re all safe. My entire heart is in this vehicle, Teddy.”
