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Even a woman as savvy as me can get her tit caught in the wringer of true love.
And what does that mean
God I had forgotten how you talk
You would think that the woman who, only months ago, single-handedly tracked down and disarmed Verona’s first serial killer would be more intelligent than to get herself into such a mess.
Girl you were assaulted it’s okay
To quote a future wise man, the rumors of their deaths were greatly exaggerated.
I hate the meta in this book because it makes no sense and doesn't make it funnier
Lysander stared at me as if he wanted to strangle me.
This is such a messed up response to all of this. Imagine being assaulted and the man you love is like "actually it's your fault for not loving me enough" and you're like yeah valid interpretation
“You mean Lysander thought that, despite my inexperience, I should be able to discern the difference between my One True Love and the very prince of deceit.” I thought some more. “Lysander was insulted.”
Which is — again — a bonkers way to feel about someone who was BEING KISSED AND TOUCHED WITHOUT CONSENT
When do we get to the hamlet part
I must either get me to a nunnery or get married to the man who did the besmirching.”
I vote nunnery
Justice and life seldom walk hand in hand.’ ” Her attention returned to me. “What does that mean?” “ ‘Life ain’t fair.’ ” I now believed it fervently.
"ain't" right okay
I muttered, “That I can’t secretly meet Lysander ever again and I can’t say anything to Prince Escalus that will give him a disgust of me.” “More than that, you’ll display the sweet side of your nature, which we as your family well know, to the prince, your betrothed.”
Granted she was very young but something tells me that Juliet would actually be really upset that her One True Love has been lost
Startled, I spoke unwisely. “The hell you say. Your son?”
Yuck
“He believes you deserve a ‘pliant wife’ who ‘adores’ you.” “I want you.”
If he hadn’t done like one majorly gross thing I’d actually still find him kind of charming
“Yago, my brother.
like Iago? from Othello?
“You did so neglect,” I answered shortly.
when Hamlet talked to his ghost dad it was a sign of his madness btw
“Does she talk to herself?” Duke Yago was staring at me. “Sign of madness, you know.”
HAHAHA okay fair
I gave her a summation of Papà’s philosophy. “Everyone does the best they can. Sadly, some are shit-crawling worm-suckers, and their best reeks of funk and failure.”
oh Romeo you have such a way with words
“Yet if my son’s killer is still living among us, and hears of our visits with the dead—and he will, for there’s nothing the people love more than royal gossip of a celestial nature—he will perhaps reveal himself with suspicious behavior.”
okay gonzago
I dropped the skull on the floor.
girl don't drop yorrick!!
“Yorick was our jester, a man of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.”
king
or should I say
jester
I could hear humming in my ears; it was the sound of my listening.
hey rosie what does that mean
“Yago wants to think he could kill me if he desired, but he doesn’t have the gut or the wit. Yet I wonder about the wife. She has cunning, ambition, frustration. Where is she this night?”
right so Iago and Lady Macbeth? dream team
I’ll say this for Cal; he might not be handsome, and he might not be my One True Love, but he had piqued my interest enough that I dissected his motivations.
if this was a Better book their relationship would actually be really interesting
as it is they're just boring and all tell
He grinned back, so cocky I realized with a shock I liked the man.
God I miss Hamlet
“If you only set on fire that which deserves to be on fire, then I am deserving, for I . . . burn.”
and what does that mean
it's not poetry or Shakespearean just because it's a metaphor it also has to be good
I caught myself, recalled that harping on the past was a betrayal of my vow to my mother. And bitchy, considering there was no going back.
it's so annoying when women can't move on from a man forcibly kissing her and tricking her into marriage and sex like god get over it already it's been like a week
Time erodes the slab on which he rests. His name and body become dust.”
okay Hamlet in the graveyard
“I want whatever meats are in there minced.”
“We’re in business. Chop the smoked fat pork as fine as you can. In fact, cut all the meats fine.
you just said to mince them
It’s amazing how good food can lift the heart.
it's just very overt writing isn't it
“We’re getting close, you know. Nonna Ursula was almost killed. Pasqueta has disappeared. Someone is desperate to hide the truth, and we will find him.”
yeah and what have you actually done
although, I guess that is canon compliant so delay away
What was it Cal had said? I fear the group includes local warriors and soldiers without a war. They’re too good at battle. And: They believe a messiah walks among them, a man called Baal, a false god who tells them when they take down our beloved Verona, they will own its women and riches, and he will be their lord that favors them.
okay yes? thank you? I heard you the first time
No. Not another baby. She was so weak. She couldn’t do it.
this book can't decide what tone to have
He hadn’t been pleased at our friendly banter, but in my worry about Nonna Ursula, I really hadn’t immediately registered the depth of his disquiet.
and what are we recapping for??? girl I just read that
and went into the streets with Tommaso and Nurse and . . . well, you remember what happened then.
girl I remember all of it I am reading your book
Lysander and I had sufficient chaperonage.
why does he even get to stay
All right, I confess, it was poetry, yet I tingled at that magnificent summing up of the beauty that was my city-state.
she's like I hate poetry but I do like poetry when it's like poetic
“Emilia and Cesario, I leave your sister in your capable hands. Adio, Rosie, and let our palms do what lips do. They pray.” He offered the flat of his hand to me, and I pressed my palm against his. A nice twist on Romeo and Juliet’s meeting.
I'm confused by the lore of them in your universe
After a few moments of testy interchange, the atmosphere between them had changed from ancient enemies to longstanding friends.
YEAH I KNOW I WAS ALSO THERE
If I hadn’t been concentrating on putting the pieces of this tragedy together, when the call wafted down the stairs, I would perhaps have realized the voice was not quite Elder’s voice. Rather than obey the call, I would have fled to Cal with my suspicions.
everyone you know is like hey bestie a murderer is around please don't wander by yourself and what do you do????
“Elder says he didn’t do it. Who’s your sister?” Barnadine stopped, and his features twisted in anguish. “She’s dead to the world.” “Who was your sister?”
why are we interrupting this tense moment with a rewrite of the graveyard scene oml
the reason it was funny when Hamlet did it is because he didn't actually know Ophelia was dead yet and also no one really likes him anyway
Elder stumbled backward as if to collapse against the wall. Instead he vanished into it, which would have been funny except. . . this was in no way amusing.
girl you're the author not me
Absolute and final confirmation that I was right; Friar Camillo was Elder’s son with fair Helena—and Barnadine’s nephew.
I mean. yeah.
“As you say, madam. I know not the youth who’s the object of your idolatry. I only know my son declares he’ll do all for your happiness, although that will mean none for himself, and indeed, all Verona will laugh at him, and even when he finds a bride, she’ll be political and appropriate, none of his taste and all of his propriety.”
okay so? if he didn't want to be laughed at then he shouldn't have created this scenario??
So, madam, what will you do? Will you allow this noble prince to sacrifice himself to mockery and scorn so you may have your One True Love?”
dude yes omg
“We know what happened,” Elder told him. “We saw it from up here.”
oh I'm sorry we're anti unnecessary repitition now?
“Cal much envies you your talent and inventiveness.” “Puhlease. He’s the prince of Verona!”
you get genuinely into this book and then it throws in some awful line
“Son, never pass up a chance to pee. Never waste an erection. Never trust a fart.”
the fact that this is one of the frequently highlighted lines tells me everything I need to know about this book
lousy, unimpressive, directionless writing
