Dashing All the Way

by Chelsea Curto

Whoever decided running is a good form of exercise can go straight to hell.

I’m a stubborn bitch, and there’s nothing I love more in life than proving a man wrong.

“Do what? Contemplate the necessity of men’s existence? It’s pretty easy; I think society would function just fine without them. Think of how well the world would run if women were in charge.”

“I love being on my ass, believe it or not. I prefer it when I’m getting something good out of it, like, you know, an orgasm. Not more pain.”

“I’ve run out of reasons why Jada can’t listen to the books she loves. I sound like a controlling husband.” Rhett scowls at me. “I don’t know how to tell my wife I don’t want her to hear my best friend tell her to take it like a good girl.”

I’m doing this for the women who have been told they’re not capable of something. For anyone who feels like they’re not good at anything. I’m doing it for younger me, the girl who never would’ve let a man dictate her life, and as we surge through mile ten, I could scream from the pride rippling through me.

“Your son didn’t know how to fuck me.” Margo brings her mouth close to mine. “Do you think you will?” “Baby, when I’m finished with you, you won’t be able to walk straight. I’ll give you exactly what you need.”

“You know I’m a man, Margo. Take off your underwear so I can show you I know what to do with my tongue.”

“The question is if I should fuck you here so the neighbors you’ve probably met before could see or if we should do this in my room. What do you think, Margo? Where does the dirty slut want to ride her ex-boyfriend’s dad’s cock?”

Jesus is probably rolling in his grave because of what a ho-ho-hoe I am.

“I have makeup under my eyes, don’t I? I bet I look like a sleep deprived raccoon who keeps getting railed by the hot older guy so she can’t catch up on not being exhausted.” “Railing a raccoon isn’t on my holiday to-do list, but you don’t look like that at all. You look stunning.”