Eggshells

by Parm K.C.

These words are for her – the one who has been with someone that made her feel cracked and small. If you’ve experienced a toxic relationship, the first two chapters of this book will give you validation. The second two chapters will give you hope. Please know that you possess the courage to walk away, put your pieces back together, and thrive.

he turned a vibrant woman dull, and now he says he needs more color in his life.

the problem with being insecure is that when a toxic partner says you aren’t good enough, you believe them.

I walk on eggshells around him, yet somehow everything is still breaking.

I was never taught to stand up for myself, so I fall for everything. I fall for the ones who show me the slightest bit of affection and I fall for the ones who snatch it away just as quickly. I fall for a single compliment because I don’t think I’m worthy of it, and I fall for the same one who puts me down with a harshness you couldn’t imagine. so here I am on the ground, after falling for everything. I was never taught to stand up for myself and I’ve been struggling to stand ever since.

“if he wanted to he would” takes on a whole new meaning when you realize that he hurts you because he wants to.

but he wounded me so profoundly that I cannot bring myself to wish him the best.

This

please burn down the bridge that leads back to the man who hurt you. burn it down before you go up in flames.

over him is you embracing a new life, relying on yourself, being open to (but not starving for) new love, and nurturing your first love – you.

when I’m 85, I will thank present-day me. I will think of her with gratitude and admiration.

today I bought myself flowers. I didn’t wait for anyone else to. I wanted them – I knew they’d make me happy, and I knew they were well earned. so there they sit, perched atop my bedside table, a colorful reminder of my tenacity. a tangible manifestation of the way I love myself. this is what I always deserved.

choosing myself was a seed. something was planted, and roots began to sprout that day. the fruit may not have flourished immediately, but look how I have grown.

it allows us to love without drowning in the waves of someone else’s ocean.

I’m still enough. and I still deserve love.