Eggshells

by Parm K.C.

I colored his red flags green, but I’m almost out of paint. his true colors are starting to show.

I got so tired of fighting with him that I stopped fighting for myself.

I miss who I was before him.

and if I don’t question it, I won’t question him. and if I don’t question him, he gets to escape accountability forever.

I wanted to be the one to heal him. I wanted to be the one to inspire him and motivate him to be a better man. but I see now, I cannot reform the core of another person – none of us can. so while I tried so hard to turn him into someone else, I turned into someone else. I need to go, before I lose too much more of me.

I was so sure that if I did the right things, I could make him happy. if I dressed how he liked, talked how he liked, acted how he liked, maybe he would see me as the one. yet somehow, it was never enough for him. I was so focused on making him happy, I didn’t even notice I was miserable.

please burn down the bridge that leads back to the man who hurt you. burn it down before you go up in flames.

I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone what he did – it could damage his reputation. I wasn’t supposed to tell the truth because it could make him look bad. I was supposed to keep it all bottled up to ensure that his image remained squeaky clean. no more. I’m voicing my truth. not to tear him down, but so that he may never tear another down. and so that I may begin to build myself back up.

I rescued the girl who was trapped under a sad story. I reunited with myself.