A Wish for Us

by Tillie Cole

I pushed her hair from her face. I knew she liked it when I did that. “Hi, Farraday,” I said, my voice sounding like a scream in the quiet room. I squeezed her hand then leaned over her, careful of the tubes, and kissed her forehead. Her skin was ice-cold. My eyes watered. Moving my mouth to her ear, I said, “You made me a promise, Farraday, and I’m not letting you get out of it.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “I love you.” My voice cracked on the last word. “I love you, and I refuse to let you leave me here without you.” I swallowed. “Just fight, baby. I know your heart is tired. I know you’re tired too, but you have to keep fighting.” I paused, pulling myself together. “The doctor said you’re at the top of the list now. You’re going to get a heart.” Of course I knew that wasn’t guaranteed, but I had to say it. More for myself than for her. I glanced down at Bonnie’s chest. A machine made it rise and fall. It was a perfect rhythm. I kissed Bonnie on the cheek then sat on the chair beside her. I kept tight hold of her hand. Even when I closed my eyes, I didn’t let go.