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“I hope to be paid back someday when I have my own young kids.”
What a weird fucking thing to say on a third date.
I’m rushing around my house, trying to do last-minute decorating in preparation for my blind date with a stranger. An almost stranger.
No Girlypop a stranger. You don’t even know his name and having his dick in your mouth at one point doesn’t negate that fact.
What if someone else walks in? What if it’s not him? What if he arrives with a gang and—I shake off the paranoid thoughts and confirm the door is indeed unlocked.
The smallest amount of common sense and poof, it’s gone again.
My cock is so close to her pussy, and as much as I want to thrust it inside of her, I hold back, savoring the wait.
Help why is this so fucking awkward sounding?! 😂
“So you’ve been WinterWatcher all along, huh? The masked man.” “Guilty as charged,” I admit, searching her face for any sign of anger or disgust. But I see only curiosity and a hint of amusement in her eyes.
This is so stupid
“Hello, everyone,” I purr, slipping into my BlackAsChlo persona. “I hope you’re ready for a very special show tonight.”
Purr? 🤢
We begin our dance, a sensual choreography of touches, kisses, and caresses.
All I can hear is the chick from Leap saying “it’s like a dance”
“BlackAsChlo has been very, very naughty,” Jack says to the viewers. “I’ve promised this naughty girl a punishment, and I’m a man of my word.”
This book is curing me of my praise kink.
“That’s right,” I purr to the camera, playing my part.
Stop purring for the love of Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Jack alternates between cheeks, each spank carefully measured. The pain mingles with pleasure, sending me from bliss to erotic agony all at once. By the time I count “Ten,” my skin is tingling and I’m panting and writhing in need.
How is this book making me bored at a spanking scene?! 😭
“I like being your good girl,” I moan, running my hands down his chest. “But I also like being very bad too.”
🤢🤢🤢
TO JACK. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING OVER ME THIS CHRISTMAS. LOVE, SCROOGE.
You have only been on like 3 dates with this man! 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
“Really? You want me to come to the fire station for Christmas dinner?” I nod, running my fingers through her hair. “Absolutely. I know it’s not a traditional Christmas dinner, but—”
So we’re back to this being a shitty Hallmark movie again. Great
“They’re quite a sight, aren’t they? All that masculinity crammed into a kitchen.”
Men should know how to cook because everyone needs to eat to survive. I’m so sick of the misogyny in this book being presented as sexy masculinity.
“Of course it’s okay. Welcome to the life of a firefighter’s . . . friend.”
The wink wink nudge nudge thing is so fucking irritating.
“Won’t it be too loud?” Jack grins mischievously. “Nah, it’s fine. Go ahead, give it a press.” Tentatively, I reach out and push the button. The resulting blast is deafening, echoing through the bay and making me jump in my seat.
That’s because you’re an idiot Chloe.
His lips are warm and slightly chapped, tasting faintly of smoke and pumpkin pie. The kiss deepens, and I feel myself melting into him, my hands finding their way to his chest.
People have to work out of this fire truck, can you not?
“Don’t want to share our kinky side with all the boys?”
No, dummy, normal people don’t go into explicit details about their sex lives with their coworkers because that’s super inappropriate and makes people uncomfortable and is just asking for a sexual harassment case.
“I like it when you’re a good girl,” I say. “But I also like it when you are a very bad, bad girl.”
🤢🤢🤢
“Are you sure?” I ask, my voice low and husky. “Once we start, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.”
Bro, a partner can take back their consent at any time and if you don’t stop that’s rape.
“That was . . .”
Boring? Uninspired? Formulaic?
Sloane reaches out to touch my arm, but I flinch away. “I’m so sorry,” she says, her voice cracking. “I never meant for this to happen. I was curious, and I didn’t think—” “You didn’t think?” I repeat, my voice hollow. “You didn’t think about the consequences? About my privacy? About my job?
Every character in this book is dumber than the last.
“That’s . . . actually kind of romantic. In a very modern, kinky way.”
No girl, it’s fucking weird and invasive.
“Stalking?” she asks. “Is that what you’ve been doing?”
Worms for brains I fucking swear.
“Chloe, no. It wasn’t like that at all. I just . . . I know it sounds crazy, but after pulling you from that wreck, after seeing how close you came to dying . . . I couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to you.”
Bro you were doing everything but jacking off watching her through the window. 🙄 Don’t act like you have some moral high ground now.
“So what, you appointed yourself my guardian angel? My personal stalker? Do you have any idea how messed up this is?”
The first smart thing Chloe has said the whole book.
It’s late and snowing really hard here. Any way this can wait until tomorrow?
Girl you’re an independent contracted employee. He is not your fucking boss and you do not have to listen to a fucking word he says when outside of the contracted hours.
“I may not have been a subscriber at first. But I am now. A subscriber with expectations.”
Really? 30 pages from the end of the book and you’re trying to introduce a villain storyline? Yawn
“And,” I continue, “if I even suspect you’re trying anything like this with anyone else, I’ll go straight to the police. Do you understand?”
Bitch go to the police now! He literally tried to rape you!
“I think it’s kind of romantic. Sexy even,” she admits. “Sorry, but I don’t think I’d be throwing away the man because he’s obsessed with you.”
Throw this whole friend away. She told you to just get over your parents’ deaths and now she’s telling you the stalking is romantic. 🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️
“A catch! He’s been standing outside my window without my knowledge. How in the hell is that considered a catch?”
A very great question!
“People do crazy things when they’re in love, Chloe.”
THEY ALSO DO CRAZY THINGS WHEN THEY’RE FUCKING CRAZY! You also stole that line from Hercules, how fucking dare you!
“I want the insane asylum kind of love.”
As someone who had a stalker no the fuck you do not.
“And if I don’t want that?” I ask, surprising myself with the words. “If I don’t want you to give up control.” I swallow hard, even more surprised I’m about to reveal this. “What if I want you to take control?”
And now you’re back to being an idiot. Great.
