He Sees You When You're Sleeping

by Alta Hensley

Over the past few years, I’ve been shoveling Chloe’s walkway after a snowstorm for three reasons.

YEARS?!?!?

Gone is the polished influencer in her secondhand blazer and knockoff heels. In her place emerges Chlo—edgy, daring, and unapologetically herself.

This is kind of cringey lol it’s giving “dark Betty”

I’ll stop coming to the café, stop following her. Okay . . . I’m a liar. I miss her already.

I literally feel a part of my soul die a slow death as I watch Chloe raise the broom, preparing to strike the smoke detector.

She looks angelic, peaceful. Completely unaware of the fact that hives are practically forming on my skin. She broke the firefighter code. Never. Disable. An. Alarm.

this is cracking ms up

My hands shake. My mind screams no. I shouldn’t do it. I should stop. But I don’t. Instead, I pull out a nanny camera.

AAAAAAAAA

I reach up, ready to tear down the camera, to undo this terrible mistake. But as my fingers brush against it, the creeper stalker in me returns.

STILL SCREAMING

What have I done? What will I do next? The line between protector and predator has never felt so blurry.

After my last boyfriend, I swore to myself that I’d steer clear of vanilla, and something about Mr. Fireman screams vanilla.

Girl if you only knew

“Chloe, wait—” The bell above the door chimes, and I look up reflexively. My heart skips a beat as Jack walks in,

EHEHEHEHE

“No big deal really. I just have a stalker.” Jack’s eyes widen, his expression turning serious. I immediately regret my flippant comment. “No, no, it’s not like that. I was joking. No stalker for me.”

AHAHAHA you know his stomach dropped at that

Am I setting myself up for disappointment by pursuing something with someone who might be too . . . safe?

GIRL HEHEHE

She’s wearing a raven-black wig, bright red lipstick and a tight, revealing black dress I’ve never seen before. What the fuck?

DARK BETTY AHHAHAA

How have I missed this? Years of sitting outside her window, and this is the first time I’ve seen this?

I was just thinking that

I took the girl out for hot cocoa like she was a virginal eighteen-year-old. Jesus, she must think I’m a goddamn Boy Scout. Had I known . . .

Spot on actually

Fuck me. Fuck me and not in the fun dildo-fuck-me kind of way.

“Funny story,” I add. “When I came home yesterday and saw it done, I started to really feel I may have a stalker. A snow-shoveling stalker.”

Ope

“Christmas isn’t really my thing, you know? Not since—” “I know. But you can’t grieve them forever.”

uhhh thats so wrong to say

why in the fuck did my pussy contract at the thought? I’m sick.

LOL

“I haven’t met the man, but he sounds like a catch.” “A catch! He’s been standing outside my window without my knowledge. How in the hell is that considered a catch?”

Asking the real questions here