In the Veins of the Drowning (The Siren Mage, #1)

by Kalie Cassidy

There were women—I’d seen them—who were lit from within, and when they became wives that light dampened. I did not know if it was their husbands that doused their flame, or if they themselves curled up around it, their very souls trying to protect it from extinguishing. Regardless, I had been prepared to watch myself dim. But Evander’s touch lit sparks inside me, and somehow, he coaxed the light within to burn brighter, to burn steadily.

“Someday,” she whispered, as her fingers played through my damp hair, “you will have a full life. A home, if you want one. And you’ll see more than these stones and mountains and sky. And I’ll be with you when you first touch the sea. You’ll feel sand between your toes, and salt water on your tongue, and you will feel more joy than you can fathom. I promise.”

I have no desire to be like you—” I jabbed a finger against his chest. “To scrape myself empty for others and call it noble.”

“You are… You’re one ambush after the next and I have yet to get my bearings.”

“I called you a gnat, and I detest myself for it. I am the bug. A moth. And you are the moon. Drawing me, pulling me. But I’ll never be able to reach you without destroying myself. All I can do is pray for the day.” He gave me a pleading look. “Do you understand? I am doing my very best to keep a grip on myself, to keep my distance, but everything you do seems in service of thwarting that goal.”

“I would have worshipped you,” he said, husky and slow. “Laid you out over my bed like a goddess on her altar and gotten on my knees before you. And when we were done, after a very long time…” He brought me tighter to his chest, and I all but melted into him. My nose brushed his chin. “… I’d thank you for tearing me to ribbons with those pretty talons of yours.”

“Lay a hand on my wife and you’ll lose it.” Theodore gripped the hilt of the dagger.

MY WIFE!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!

“I cannot even see her for the way you encompass me.” Emotion etched his face. “You fill my every sense. You stalk my waking mind. You make up the entirety of my dreams. I couldn’t speak to you after what Lachlan said because it shocked me—that he was right. About what I feel—”

“What I feel for you is beyond reason—beyond duty and desire. You have tipped my whole world on its side, and you are the one clear thing in the chaos.” His nose brushed the end of mine. “You. I want you.”

But if you are to devastate me, then let it be completely. Lay waste to me and everything that’s mine. A life without you in it is not one I wish to lead.”

“You have shone a light on me. You made me feel fury and terror and joy and longing. How do I curl myself back into the darkness after being so alive?”