In the Veins of the Drowning (The Siren Mage, #1)

by Kalie Cassidy

“I think the only reason anyone would reside this high up—this far from the rest of the world—is because they either have something to fear or something to hide.”

You’re an imbecile to marry a man whose job it is to kill you.”

“Someday,” she whispered, as her fingers played through my damp hair, “you will have a full life. A home, if you want one. And you’ll see more than these stones and mountains and sky. And I’ll be with you when you first touch the sea. You’ll feel sand between your toes, and salt water on your tongue, and you will feel more joy than you can fathom. I promise.”

“It will not change me or your resentment. I will still be what I am, and you’ll only know misery because in your heart… In your heart you wish to kill me.”

“If I’d wanted you dead, my love, you would be.” A sickening shiver fell down my spine as he raised a hand into my hair and gripped it in his fist. “I’ve loved you for so long. Did you know? Long before I begged the king for your hand. Long before I touched you.” He shook his head. “You gave me a shock, yes, but in her own strange way, Eusia has answered my prayer by giving me you. Your blood in my veins will make me untouchable. No Siren lure will be a threat. My men will look at me like I’m a god.” He pressed his lips to my temple, spoke against my skin. “I could never resent you for that, Imogen.”

His voice was deadly quiet. “You’re out of your mind.” “Perhaps.” I didn’t bother to hide the desperation in my voice. “But I have nothing left to armor myself in except your protection and you refused to give it.”

“I have little reason to trust men who say they will do right by me in exchange for my obedience.”

“Hello, Agatha.” He glared at the tall, smug-looking soldier standing beside her. “Lachlan, I’ll gut you.” “Yes, I know,” said Lachlan. “Agatha informed me that she’s coming with us.” Theodore shot me a scowl. “Blessed by the bloody Gods tonight, aren’t you?”

He set me atop a horse and climbed up behind me.

My very niche favorite trope

I was the woman. I was the water. I was the monster.

Lachlan looked at me like I was simple. “To make yourself queen.” “Queen?” I blinked. “What do you… I don’t understand.” Theodore’s deep voice was quiet, filled with a soft sort of tension. “Marriages are not performed as blood bonds on Seraf, Lach. She didn’t know.” “Marriages!” My gaze bounced between all three of them. “We’re married?” Theodore rubbed at his eye.

Oh my god!!

“I will not live another life like my last, honoring the whims of a king who wishes to use me. I bent the knee to you, yes, but it will cost me nothing to denounce you and leave your kingdom with my blood still running through your veins. I will happily let our bond plague you with unending worry over my well-being until you are old and gray if you treat me like I am some palace maid to be ordered about. If you want a severance, if you want me to receive a prophecy so that I can fulfill your final condition, then I have some terms of my own you must agree to.”

I have no desire to be like you—” I jabbed a finger against his chest. “To scrape myself empty for others and call it noble.”

There were many misguided things I desired, and I suspected it would always be so. Just as sure as I was made of flesh and blood and bone and sea, I was also made of want. Excising it, draining it like a bad humor, would never do, but this one time, with this one man, I could stop myself from being the fool.

Nothing good had ever come from me taking what I wanted.

It had been difficult to learn the details of a life that I’d never thought I’d experience. Every bit she’d shared with me had felt like something to mourn, one small death after another. Ignorance had hurt less.

“That place was no home. Home is where you’re safe.”

“I called you a gnat, and I detest myself for it. I am the bug. A moth. And you are the moon. Drawing me, pulling me. But I’ll never be able to reach you without destroying myself. All I can do is pray for the day.” He gave me a pleading look. “Do you understand? I am doing my very best to keep a grip on myself, to keep my distance, but everything you do seems in service of thwarting that goal.”

“I used to stare up at that statue of Ligea as a boy. Lit candles at her feet and asked for the kind of courage the stories and songs about her told. Then I saw you, her very image, and I—I wanted… It’s been a disappointment to learn that you are a beautiful shell of her.”

“What I feel for you is beyond reason—beyond duty and desire. You have tipped my whole world on its side, and you are the one clear thing in the chaos.” His nose brushed the end of mine. “You. I want you.”

cannot believe—I refuse to believe that knowing you, that binding myself to you—” He swallowed hard. “That… that caring for you could possibly be the cause of my ruination. But if you are to devastate me, then let it be completely. Lay waste to me and everything that’s mine. A life without you in it is not one I wish to lead.”