The Witchwood Boys Are Trending (Witchwood Boys #1)

by C.M. Stunich

to my fellow kinky weird girls. I gift you bats and cats and magic and three dominant witch men. (who also bake cumcakes—I said what I said) this one’s for you, fam.

My type has always been mouthy, mean women. Sniveling and submission aren’t sexy unless it’s part of a bedroom game.

I’m glad that my grandmother never knew the truth about the Witchwoods. It’s not the fantasy world of her dreams, but a slowly unfolding horror with skull-mushrooms and taboo sex rituals.

Loneliness is a poison, one that can make even the strongest bottle of arsenic look appealing.

I lost my phone somewhere in the Witchwoods, and I’ll tell you this. Once you’ve been hunted by a lullaby-singing soul-eater owl, you realize your phone isn’t as important as you once thought.

“You, pretending like you don’t want this when you fucking love it.”

“Where I come from, marijuana is considered the devil’s lettuce.”

“You were over here panicking because you thought we’d left you. That isn’t going to happen. Does the sun rise every morning? Yeah. Are you stuck with us? Mm-hmm. As close to a constant as constant can get.”

It’s not our winning personalities, I know that. It sure as hell isn’t good memories and special times shared together—like me spanking her ass and pumping her tight hole with a knife. It’s the magic. It’s the commitment we made to each other.

“Then maybe ask yourself: why the fuck would you want a good guy to begin with? Villains fuck better anyway.”

For once, the men give me just enough room to breathe—that is, by stalking me quietly from the hallway. It’s ... the little things, you know?

“Why stop when you love it so much? Don’t fucking pretend with me, Kate. You gave explicit consent for this, and I want to hear it. If you say stop even one more time, I’m going to use you like a body pillow so that I can fall asleep.”

“When we’re done, we’re going to sleep with my cock inside of you. And then in the morning, I’m going to fuck you awake, Kate.”

I’ve already figured out that Kate gets off on getting me off. Cool trick. I get off on getting her off. We’re a match made in heaven and consecrated in hell.

From one slut to another, I get it. We just need to be at each other all day, all night, every day. That’ll make us both happy as clams.

“Tell me that you want it, baby. If I know how much you’re craving it, my balls will give it up for you. My body’s a slave to yours, you know that. Coax me.”

A strong coven is a coven that sticks together. Proximity. Touch. Sex.