Live for Me (Hallow Ranch)

by Brittany Ann

He yanked me out of the truck by my hips, setting me on my feet as I stared up at him. Our gaze didn’t break as his hands drifted down from my hips to the shorts, hooking his thumbs in the belt loops and pulling them up. When they got caught underneath the swell of my ass, his eyes flared, and mine dropped down to his lips. Suddenly, his minty breath and pine-scented cologne were overwhelming my senses, and I felt my nipples harden as he yanked the shorts over my butt. Those lips I’d been focused on curled into a small snarl as his hands drifted to my front, zipping the shorts and buttoning them underneath the hem of my sleep shirt. The heat of his hands against my soft stomach threatened to send me into the next level of insanity.

It was devastating, and I hated it. I hated how gorgeous this cowboy was. I hated how much he still cared about me. I hated how much he was willing to do for me. I hated how good his soul was, how pure his heart was. I hated that, after all these years, he was taking care of me like he never stopped. I hated how I didn’t deserve any of it. I hated myself for letting this cowboy love me.

“Quiet,” he ordered, moving his hands to rest just above my ass. “I don’t make empty threats. Test me, Abbie.” My arms gave out, and I began kicking my legs. “This is kidnapping, you stupid, stubborn, arrogant cowboy!” I yelled out. “I see Abbie hasn’t changed.” I froze as the new voice registered in my ears, and my head snapped up. Fucking Van Gogh. My eyes nearly popped out of my head at the group of cowboys standing in front of the barn. When my eyes landed on Mason Langston, all the air left my lungs, and I forgot how to breathe entirely. Mason Langston was here—at Hallow Ranch—with Denver.

That was the thing about Hallow Ranch. It didn’t just breed healthy cattle. It wasn’t just one of the wealthiest ranches in the state. It was home to handsome, scorching hot cowboys.

“Did you really kidnap her?” Denver’s deep voice rumbled. My eyes flicked back to him and I was ready to tell him everything, but Beau turned to the side. “Ain’t kidnapping if she’s in danger.” The twins chuckled, the one with the cream hat shaking his head. Mason looked at his boots. “When did you get back, Mase?” Beau asked. The cowboy looked back up to Beau and jerked his chin to the left, but I couldn’t see what was over there. “Got in this morning,” he answered. “Thought you were heading to California,” Beau said. Mason smiled and shrugged a shoulder. “Harm wanted to come home, so we came home.” Who was Harm?

“I take it she wasn’t going to listen to you,” he said, looking back at Beau. Beau grunted. “She never does.” I opened my mouth, ready to cuss him out again, but Denver cut me off. “When the day is done, we need to have a chat, Beau.” “Knew that was fucking coming,” Beau grumbled. I sucked in a breath as his thumb began stroking the back of my thigh. He was trying to comfort me.

“Right, well, she can sit up at the house with Val,” he began, talking as if I wasn’t here and not giving me the choice, “or you can lock her in the bunkhouse. Hurry up and decide. We have work to do.”

“I would like to go home, please,” I rasped, my voice cracking at the end as the memory of us dancing in front of that sink came to the forefront of my mind. That was the day I’d gotten my acceptance letter to school. Beau came back from working out in pasture four, and when I told him, he picked me up, kissed me, and then, we danced. God, we would've danced all night if we could've.

“Going home isn’t an option,” he said softly—too softly.

“I’m not wanted here,” I told him. “I’m pretty damn sure I’m not even welcome here.” He shook his head, moving around me. “That’s not true, Abbie.” “Really?” I quipped, turning around and watching as he opened the trunk at the end of his bunk. “Because your boss looked like he was five seconds away from killing me, and we both know how he can get when someone he doesn’t want here is on his ranch.” Beau muttered something under his breath as he pulled out a small brown leather bag, unzipping it and pulling out a set of keys. He didn’t speak until the trunk was closed again. “Denver would never hurt you, Abbie.” His eyes shot to mine. “He knows who you are to me. Every single one of those cowboys do.” He jerked his chin. “Lift your hands.”

“Right, here’s the WiFi password and all the channels we get out here. The signal should be strong enough for you to work while I’m gone,” he explained. I took the card without looking at it. “The bunkhouse has WiFi?” A short, deep chuckle filled my ears then. “Yeah, the twins bought it and set it up. Lawson developed a tracking system for the herd. He’s big into technology.” “Then why is he here?”

“Hell if I know. Both of those guys could run the damn country if they wanted to, but I guess somewhere along the way, they wanted to experience a bit of peace.”

Part of me wondered if I would ever have my own house on this land, or if I would be like my father, living in the bunkhouse until I was old and gray with nothing to my name but a broken heart.

the memory of the worst day of my life playing like a movie right before my eyes. We were in the middle of that field, me in jeans and a pearl snap, nervous as hell and her in a purple sun dress with her hair tied back. I’d gotten down on one knee, presented the ring I’d spent three years working for, and asked her to marry me.

I was ready to end it at one point, the night Mags found me. That was my lowest point. Abbie Spears ripped my heart out and smashed it underneath her boot when all I did was fucking love her like she pleaded to be loved. I gave her everything and in return, she fucking destroyed me.

I still loved her. I still needed to protect her.

my mind and heart at war with each other. My heart wanted to see her, despite all the pain it had been through, but my mind…fucking hell, my mind was telling me to take her back to the city and let her deal with her own mess.

Ride, Beau. Ride until the only things on your mind is the beauty in front of you and the horse underneath you. My father’s words echoed in my mind, words he said to me the day after Abbie left me. I inhaled a deep breath as Denver called out to me, getting closer and closer by the second. I couldn’t deal with this right now. I wasn’t fucking strong enough. Before I could let the self-hatred seep into my blood, I yanked on the reins and turned Spirit around. “One more ride, boy. Just stick with me for one last ride,” I murmured before snapping the reins and kicking my boots.

I never went back to the bunkhouse. Instead, I rode out to the secondary barn and grabbed my camping pack.

Everywhere I looked on this land now, I saw Abbie and me. Our memories painted Hallow Ranch, haunting me.

I was happy for her. And it was slowly killing me. I didn’t want to be happy for her. I wanted to be happy with her. I wanted her to be happy with me.

You’re free now, Abbie. It’s just you and me, riding off into the sunset now, baby. I love you, Beau.

“Abbie still here?” A grunt came from him. “She is, but not where you want her.” My muscles tensed, my back snapping straight. “What the hell do you mean by that?” “Relax, Beau. She’s fine,”

“She’s just not in the bunkhouse.” Inhaling a deep breath, I looked up to the main house, my brows coming together. I could understand Val inviting her to stay in the guest room, but I also knew Denver wouldn’t allow that. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out Denver Langston wasn’t a fan of my ex. He would allow her to stay on his ranch, but in his house? That was a far stretch. “Valerie found her then, yeah?” I assumed. Mags dropped the bud of his cigarette on the ground, putting his boot over it and grinding it into the dirt and gravel. “She’s at Mason’s, Beau.” My head jerked. “What?” “Soon as Harmony heard she was here, she came running, and despite Mase’s protests, Abbie ended up going with them,” he explained. Harmony and Abbie? “Is she okay? Was everyone alright?”

“I should’ve come back,” I muttered. “No, you needed time.” My head shook, and I turned back to him, ready to disagree, but he leveled me with a look. “You’re wound tight, Beau. No telling what would’ve happened if you came back this afternoon without distancing yourself for a bit,” he said, his voice quiet. “You brought her back to where you’re trying to heal. It also happens to be the place where she hurt you—deeply.” He looked away, his eyes scanning the bunkhouse, the corral, and then the dark fields beyond it underneath his hat. “Hallow Ranch is your home, but it’s also your own version of hell. No one blames you for needing time, even if it was just a few hours.”

“This was never supposed to be my hell.” “Unfortunately, we don’t get to decide where our heaven and hells are. That’s fate’s choice.” After a few moments of silence, he asked, “Now, are you alright? Or do I need to stay?” That was Mags. A lonely man. A broken cowboy. A damn good friend.

“You may have done a good job hiding it from everyone else, but to someone who was being abused at the same time you were, Mase? There was no fooling me.” I felt his stare burning into the side of my head. Still, I didn’t look at him. “You never said anything.” I lifted my shoulder slightly, giving the scene in front of me a sad smile before looking to my bare feet. “It wasn’t any of my business.” Silence fell between us for a minute or two before I added, “Besides, I didn’t want to put you into more danger than you were already in. I was a nobody. What the hell could I have done?”

“It’s funny,” he said, setting the mug on the porch railing. “What’s funny, Mase?” I asked, looking at him and wiping my cheek with my sleeve. He pursed his lips, looking out to the field again. “This place was your safe space, and it was my own version of hell.” A lump formed in my throat. Those wild, storm-filled eyes met mine again. “And now, the roles are reversed.” Hallow Ranch was heaven to some but hell to others.

“Like you, Abbie, always have, but I need you to understand something, yeah?” he rumbled, darkness curling at the end of his words. Slowly, I nodded. His eyes scanned my face. “You hurt Beau again, I’ll ruin your life.” The threat come out like a swift punch to the gut, causing me to jerk back, eyes widening. “Mason, I’m not here because I want to be.” “Don’t give a shit,” he returned, stepping back and readjusting his cowboy hat. “You hurt Beau again, I’ll ruin you. He barely fucking survived the last time. I was halfway across the world and could feel his pain when I had my check-ins with Jigs. Now, I’m here, and I’ll be damned if I have to watch you destroy him again.”

Destroying Beau had never been my intention. Hurting the only man I would ever love was the last thing I wanted to do. They didn’t understand. They would never understand. All they could do was hate me, and it was what I deserved.

A buttery, sweet flavor exploded across my tongue, and I let out a groan, my eyes rolling back. “My God,” I whispered, licking my lips. “Those taste just like—” “Jigs’ biscuits?” she guessed, a warm smile teasing her lips. I nodded, taking another bite. “Exactly like his.” Color tinted her cheeks, and pride flashed in her eyes. “I’m really glad to hear that, especially from someone who knows his biscuits. The twins have never had them, Mason doesn’t remember, and Denver is always busy.” I took a third bite, savoring the flavor and nostalgia. Jigs used to make biscuits and gravy for the entire bunkhouse every Sunday morning before he left for church.

“How did you manage to get the recipe?” I found myself asking, moving on to the fruit. Harmony bit her bottom lip, looking sheepish. “I—uh—might have stolen it…from his recipe box.”

I closed my eyes, knowing that, in a different life, one where I didn’t have to make the choices I did, Harmony and I would’ve been friends. The best of friends, actually.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. She was kind to me. She didn’t hate me. She didn’t judge me. She could help me. “I need to get to the main gate,” I blurted. Harmony stopped in her tracks, blinking. “You what?” “My best friend is going to be here any minute to come get me. He said to meet him at the main gate, but I have no way of getting there without walking through pastures two and one. You and I both know the cowboys will see me and—” I cut myself off, the tears breaking free as my bottom lip trembled. “I can’t—I can’t—Harmony, please.”

“Get your things,” she rasped, emotion shining in her eyes. “Wait—you’re not going to—” “I’ve been a prisoner before, Abbie,” she said gently, giving me a pained, closed-mouth smile. “I’m not going to stand by and watch someone else be one too.”

Last night, Beau never came back to the bunkhouse, and it was just another sign I didn’t belong here.

“Christians are some of the most hateful people in the world, using the Holy Bible as a form of bleach to wash away their sins.”

“Abbie, talk to me. What’s going on?” “Get me out of here,” I begged. “Please God, Dave. Get me away from Hallow Ranch.” His eyes scanned mine, his brow furrowed. “Abbie, did he hurt you?” No one would ever know how much. He hurt me every single day since the day I left. His absence was painful, but his presence was my damnation. I couldn’t tell Dave that, though. There was so much left unsaid, hiding in the dark where they would forever remain. I shook my head, choking on a sob.

The sound of rolling thunder. I stepped out of Dave’s arms, spotting a cowboy on horseback coming over the hill, the sun shining down on him. “Abbie!” he roared, his call rolling through the swaying blades of grass like a siren’s song. Goosebumps scattered across my skin, stretching over my arms and down my legs. Harmony looked back to Beau and then to me. “If you go now, I can hold him off,” she offered. I jerked, looking at her. “You—you would do that?” Dave took the bag from her. She gave another sad smile, lifting her chin. “Go.”

“Abbie,” she rasped. “If you don’t leave now, he’ll never let you go.” Tears stung my eyes. I knew she was right. I had to go. Still, my feet didn’t move. They didn’t move when Dave put my bag in the car. They didn’t move when Beau started slowing his horse. They didn’t move when he got off his horse, holding the reigns as he stalked towards me, his blue eyes on fire, his nostrils flaring. They didn’t move when he ignored Dave and Harmony’s presence as he closed the distance between us, not stopping until he was inches from me. I remained frozen in place as he reached up, hooking his rough finger underneath my chin as he glared down at me. “Leaving me again, Wildflower?” As if I had a choice the first time. The tears in my eyes spilled over the edge as my lip trembled. I didn’t answer him. I couldn’t. His blue eyes scanned my face, the air around us growing hotter by the second, having nothing to do with the sun looming over us. When I didn’t answer, he tilted his head to side as he softly noted, “Regret doesn’t look pretty in your eyes, Abbie.”

Thankfully, my body could move now, but when I stepped forward, heading towards the passenger side of the car, Beau’s hand shot out, landing on my mid-section. My breath caught, and I looked up at him, finding despair in his eyes. There were so many things I wanted to say. So many things I needed to say. So many things I couldn’t say.

Something, deep within the broken parts of my soul, died in that moment. The moment Beau Marks truly, finally, let me go.

This was our silent goodbye. I got into the car and looked down at my lap. Then, I burst into tears.

Dave’s jaw dropped as he did double-take at me. “Wait—wait, you mean to tell me your super hot cowboy ex-boyfriend found out through the grape vine that you had a stalker, and he kidnapped you to protect you?” I nodded. “He stomped into my house like the last six years hadn’t happened, packed my bag, and threw me over his shoulder.” Dave made a noise. “What a man.” My head jerked towards him. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I snapped through my tears. “He kidnapped me!” “To protect you,” he clarified.

Dave shouted a curse, swerved, and slammed on the breaks. I looked out the windshield just in time to see Spirit hopping over the barbed wire fence, his cowboy on top. He made a solid landing, and Dave and I watched in shock as Beau snapped his reins again, commanding him to walk into the two lane road.

I popped the car door open, folding myself out of it. “What the hell are you doing?” I shouted, shaking my head in disbelief. “What the fuck does it look like?” he quipped. I slammed Dave’s door and stalked towards him, throwing my arm out. “Endangering Spirit.” “He’s fine. He’s jumped higher,” Beau replied. I gaped at him and looked back to Dave’s car to find him slowly getting out. “If you think I’m going to just watch you walk away from me again, you’re out of your goddamn mind.”

“If you think I’m going to let you walk away when you’re in danger, you’re out of your goddamn mind.”

“If you think I’m going to let you go again, you’re out of your goddamn mind.”

“You can’t say things like that to me,” I whispered back, my voice cracking at the end. His hand shot up, wrapping around the back of my neck. “The hell I can’t,” he growled just before his mouth slammed down onto mine. My hands shot up to his chest, ready to push him off, ready to set a boundary. Then, his tongue shot out, stroking the seam of my lips. Before I could comprehend it, my body gave in to him. My mouth opened, letting him in as my hands fisted his flannel, clinging to him. On a second growl, his tongue swooped in, drinking from me like I was the only thing he needed in this world. His fingers tightened on the back of my neck, holding me in place as he rediscovered me and I, him. His taste—God. Mint.

That was when I knew. Beau never intended on kissing me. That was mistake, and we both knew it. “You aren’t leaving Hallow Ranch,” he declared. “I have to, Beau,” I told him, my voice unsteady, heart pounding. “No, you don’t. You are under my damn protection, and the safest place for you is here.” I waited: like a fool I waited for him to add on to that sentence. With me. When those words didn’t come, I mentally shook it off and took a few steps back. Being here with him was dangerous.