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Who am I kidding? Ben Michaels has his own private suite in my temporal lobe. I’ve tried for years to evict him, but to no avail. At this point, I’ve just learned to live with his ghost.
“Hey, Madness.”
The last time we spoke we were ending our relationship, a relationship that I had thought would be my forever. Now he’s congratulating me on my engagement to another man.
But the instant her gaze met mine, I was gone. Just like that, everything I’d buried, every stupid hope, every broken promise, every ounce of love I never managed to shake, came rushing back all at once.
“Just don’t give Austin too many compliments,” Foster tells me as I’m heading for the showers. “If his head gets any bigger, he won’t fit on the bus.”
“Since I was lost and you found me.” “Technically, you found me.” “Let’s split the difference and say we found each other.”
What I am certain of is this prick will not be her first kiss.
“And I know you’ll find someone, too. You’ll find your person.” I already had her and I lost her,
“Well, just do me a favour and stay happy. If you two break up, you’ll have to decide who gets custody of me and that could be very traumatic for all of us. Especially me.”
“He’s not entirely wrong, Madness.” I meet her gaze head on not wanting there to be any miscommunication between us. “I am still in love with you. Very much so, in fact. I expect I always will be. I know that you don’t feel the same way and that’s okay. I promise, I’m not trying to fuck up the life you’ve built for yourself. I have no plans to interfere in your relationship with the man you chose. There was a time in my life where I might have been selfish enough to try. But I’m not that guy anymore. If you’re happy, I’m happy for you. And I want you to be so happy, Mads.”
Right now, it’s just her and me, laughing in a way that feels as natural as breathing. And God, I missed this. I missed her.
“Why did you agree to be an ambassador?” Her expression is hesitant. Like she’s not sure if she wants to know the answer. “I did it for you. Later, Madness.” I walk away from her like it’s easy. But it’s not. It never will be.
Foster gives me a blank stare. “I don’t like people.”
But what does it matter? I lost her. And maybe I deserved to. I miss her.
Being around Ben is one of the few things in my life that feels right.
want to reach across the table, pluck those smug, dismissive eyes right out of his thick skull, and use them for batting practice.
Even with Cheshire’s carrier in my arms and my bag weighing down my shoulder, I feel lighter than a fucking feather.
Holy fucking shit this is the greatest thing that’s ever happened. This is Christmas, Easter, Halloween, and my birthday combined. I want to drop to my knees and thank God, the Universe, the dinosaurs, the Academy—anyone who will listen, for this gift I’ve been given.
“Take as much time as you need.” His expression softens. “All I ask is that before we take things further, you’re sure it’s what you really want. If you do decide you want to try again…I want to do things right this time. Because losing you was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I won’t survive it again.”
“Ten years of missing you. Of missing this. I kept telling myself it would fade. But it never did. It won’t. I love you, Madelyn Alice Clairmont.” My voice is steady, unwavering. “I miss you. And time and distance haven’t changed a damn thing.”
“No time spent with you could ever be wasted. Especially after knowing what time without you is like.”
“That’s my good girl.”
“Madelyn Alice Clairmont.” His voice is thick with emotion. “I have spent half of my life loving you. I loved you long before I ever said it out loud. You are my best friend, my Wonderland, and the girl of my dreams. I know I call you Madness, but sometimes I feel like my love for you is the one thing in this world that makes perfect sense. I want all of my adventures to be with you. Will you marry me?”
“When I used to read fairy tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one.”
