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“Fuck off.” “Such a mouth on you.” “Don’t say it.” “I preferred it when it was on me.”
For the rest of his life, Shane Hollander would have to live with the fact that he had ended his NHL draft day by getting himself off to thoughts of Ilya Rozanov.
Shane wanted to crosscheck him in the mouth, and then kiss it better.
“Oh god. Shane...”
He called him Shane!!! 🥹🥹🥹 why is that even cuter than sweetheart??!! 😭😭😭
“Yeah,” Shane said softly. “Yeah. It was better.” He cleared his throat. “The thing is... I kind of prefer to be the hole. Than the peg.”
“and on top of everything, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you and I don’t know what to do about it.”
SCREAM!!!!!! SQUEAL!!!!! SCREAM!!!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹😍😍😍😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😭😭😭😭😭😭
“I’m fucked,” he murmured in Russian. “I am so fucking in love and it’s horrible.”
Just fucking tell him oh my fucking god!!!!
Shane kissed the tips of two fingers and reached out and touched them to the screen. And Ilya’s heart fucking stopped.
Stawp!!! 🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭
He quickly left the hospital room of the man he loved,
Shane was so completely in love with him.
“Mine.” Ilya’s breath tickled Shane’s skin when he spoke the single word. “Yours,” Shane said dreamily. “All of this. For two weeks. Is mine.” Forever, Shane wanted to say. Forever if you ask.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! I am UNwell!!!!!!
“No,” Ilya said. “I like you, Hollander.”
Ok that’s basically a confession of love from Ilya!!! He’s being all Russian about it and shit. No emotion. No sentiment.
Shane looked up at him, still laughing. His whole face was crinkled up: eyes, nose, freckles. Ilya wanted to grab embers from the fire and smash them into his own eyes because he could not bear to look at this adorable, crinkled, happy face.
🥹🥹🥹😍😍😍😭😭😭
Shane nodded. “I think things will get better in America, right?
Oh sweet baby Shane. How I wish that were true 😞
“I love you.” Shane froze. And then Ilya froze. “Holy shit,” Shane whispered. It wasn’t how he had meant to respond. “I...” Ilya’s eyes were so wide and so scared. “I love you too,” Shane said. Ilya gave a shaky smile and exhaled. “Thank Christ.” “Does it...does it feel like agony for you too?” Ilya started to nod, then stopped. He shook his head slowly instead. “Not anymore.”
“Not anymore.” !!!!!!!! Fuck off!!!!! I’m fucking crying!!!!!!!
“We are good here, yes?” he said. “Your family is here. And your boyfriend. And we are okay here.”
Ilya wanted to tell Shane that it had been one of the best days of his life. It had been awkward, sure, but Ilya felt that, if he hadn’t quite been already, he would be welcomed into Shane’s family, and that was no small thing. In fact, to Ilya, who had barely been welcome in his own family, it was huge.
🥹🥹🥹
In response, Ilya reached for his hand and tangled their fingers together. I love you so much. Don’t leave me.
