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Ilya growled and pressed his mouth harder to Shane’s skin. He sucked hard enough that, for a hysterical second, Shane wondered if he might actually be a vampire. Are there Russian vampires? No, dummy. Vampires aren’t real.
😂
“Mine.” Ilya’s breath tickled Shane’s skin when he spoke the single word. “Yours,” Shane said dreamily. “All of this. For two weeks. Is mine.” Forever, Shane wanted to say. Forever if you ask.
Shane seemed very excited about the burgers. He had followed a recipe online. Ilya took a sip of his beer. “Why the fuck are you making eight burgers?” he asked. “That’s how many the recipe was for!” “You can’t do math? Cut it in half?” “Leave me alone.”
Fuck that’s cute.
“What? I want to know about your family! All I know is your mother is Japanese or something. Probably where you get your looks.” “Half of them, yes.” “And your dad is...boring? Is that where you get your boring from?”
Ilya was never happier than when he was in control of a high-speed vehicle.
“What the fuck bird makes a noise like that?” “A loon!” Shane said again. Then he doubled over in hysterics. Ilya wanted to push him into the fire. “Fuck you and your loon!” Ilya said. “Stupid Canadian wolf bird.”
😂😂😂
“Yes. Listen. These women, they are so sexy and fun, but is no matter. I cannot stop thinking about this short fucking hockey player with these stupid freckles and a weak backhand.”
“Yes. And he is just so boring and he drives a terrible car and...that is my problem. All of these beautiful women and I am always wishing they were him.”
“Do you want the problem to go away?” “No,” Ilya said seriously, looking Shane dead in the eye. “I do not want the problem to ever go away.”
😭😭😭
“I love you.” Shane froze. And then Ilya froze. “Holy shit,” Shane whispered. It wasn’t how he had meant to respond. “I...” Ilya’s eyes were so wide and so scared. “I love you too,” Shane said.
“Does it...does it feel like agony for you too?” Ilya started to nod, then stopped. He shook his head slowly instead. “Not anymore.”
Ilya had no idea why he got so much enjoyment from causing Shane distress, but he did.
As if to prove that it was still perfectly safe and functioning, Shane’s phone started ringing in the distance.
Oh god plzzzzz be a surprise visit from his parents 😅
They both saw Shane’s dad standing inside the house, staring, frozen, at where they were wrapped up in each other on the deck.
🙈🙈🙈
“But...you hate him,” Mom said. “No, I... I don’t. I mean. Sometimes I do, kinda. But mostly I...love him. Actually.”
“I have been with lots of women. That was not...fake. But...” He looked at Shane, and Shane held his breath. “I have only been in love with one person.”
“If you mix that with cranberry juice I will drown you in the lake.”
But now he had been reeled in by this annoying Canadian, and all that he knew was that he wanted to stay. He wanted to anchor himself to Shane and just...stay.
It was exactly how Ilya had secretly always wanted to kiss Shane: a shameless display of adoration and care.
“Now? My head is racing! How can you even be thinking about sex right now?” “Because it is a beautiful day. And we are alone. And I met your parents. And I want you to calm the fuck down. And I love you.”
“And when I retire,” Ilya said, “after I have won twelve Stanley Cups and thirteen MVP awards—” “The hell you will.” “And you have been retired for, like, eight years already because you got very bad at hockey...”
Ilya sighed dramatically. “You and your plans. What if I just kissed you on the mouth at the next All-Star Game?” “I’ll punch you. I swear to god.”
“Hi, Hayden,” Ilya said, grinning. “I still don’t like you, Rozanov,” Hayden said. “Oh no!” Ilya mocked him. “How can I impress Montreal’s fifteenth best player?” “Shane, I’m gonna punch him.” “Don’t.”
😂😂😂
“I’ll make a deal: if he stops being a fucking dick, I won’t punch him.” Shane grimaced. Ilya was definitely going to have a black eye tomorrow.
“This is why I want my pilot license. Would be faster.” Shane groaned. “Please don’t get your pilot license. I will be very mad if you fly into a mountain and die.” “Aw. Sweet.”
“But the way you were looking at Ilya, Shane, I thought people were gonna figure it out. Hell, I thought you were gonna start sucking face in front of the whole world. Like Hunter.”
😂😍
Not as many children as Hayden had, but, like, a reasonable number.
💀
“We should give you a tour. The master bathroom has a very good shower.” He looked directly at Hayden and winked. “Big enough for two.”
“Well, we need to talk about something,” Shane complained after a minute had passed. “We could talk about how Hayden is eating around the mushrooms like a five-year-old,” Ilya offered. Hayden put his spoon down with a loud clank. “We could talk about what the fuck Shane sees in you.”
💀💀💀
“That’s sweet,” she said, and sounded like she meant it. “We should cook together some time, Hayden.” “I suck at cooking.” “You suck at hockey,” Ilya pointed out. “But you still play it.”
💀💀💀💀💀💀
“I don’t understand why you’d leave a contender like Boston to play for Ottawa,” Hayden said. “I am sure you don’t understand a lot of things.”
“And,” Ilya added, because he couldn’t help himself, “you’ve taken it super well.”
😅💀😅💀
“It’s not fair! Hayden and Jackie get to just, y’know, exist. The night they first got together, I watched them make out on a dance floor.” “Pervert,” Ilya teased.
😂
“What if no one will sign us? What if you get deported?” “Then I will fake my own death. We will move to a cabin in the mountains.”
Ilya sighed. “I mean... I am yours, yes? To protect that, I will do anything.”
Ilya Rozanov and his boyfriend, Shane Hollander. Ilya liked the sound of it. The idea of hockey commentators saying those words. Ilya Rozanov and his husband, Shane Hollander. Oooh. Better. Hollander passes the puck to his sexy husband, Ilya Rozanov... Okay. Maybe Ilya had gone a little heavy on the wine himself tonight.
