The Long Game (Game Changers, #6)

by Rachel Reid

“I hate that you can outrun me like that. It doesn’t make sense.” Ilya opened one eye. “Maybe you should eat carbs.” “I eat healthy carbs.” “You eat nothing.” “You smoke.” “Almost never.” “You had a cigarette last night.” “How do you know?” “I have a nose.” Ilya booped the tip of Shane’s nose. “A cute one.”

“We could tell her, maybe,” Ilya said. “Tell her what?” “About us.” “What? Today? Now?” Despite the summer heat, and his blood still churned up from the run, Shane suddenly felt icy cold. Ilya shrugged easily. “She probably knows already.” The panic alarm that lived inside Shane started blaring. “Why would she?” “We are together at your cottage. You are gay. I am hot.”

“He’s my best friend.” “I thought I was your best friend.” “Hayden’s my best friend that I don’t kiss,” Shane clarified. “Too bad for Hayden.”

Shane exhaled loudly, his exasperation clear. “I have spent the whole day trying not to—” His eyes darted to the door, which was ajar, likely realizing how loudly he was talking. He dropped his voice to a near whisper. “Trying not to be obvious about how fucking in love with you I am.” “Shane—” “No. Shut up. If you really don’t get that I’m not going to leave you for the first cute guy who smiles at me, then I don’t know what we’re even doing, Ilya.”

Shane rested a hand on Ilya’s chest. “I’m yours. You know that.” “I know.” Ilya found himself leaning in for a kiss, completely forgetting where they were. He remembered slightly too late. “Oh god,” said a voice from the doorway. “Not again.” Ryan Price was filling the doorway with his massive body, looking mortified.

lmaooooo

“I’m sort of glad you walked in on us last year.” Ryan’s face told him that he was not glad that he’d walked in on them. “And I’m really looking forward to meeting your boyfriend,” Shane said. “I didn’t get the chance to last year.” Ryan finally smiled at that. “He’s nothing like me. No one can believe we’re together.” “I know the feeling.”

“What kind of venue is the show at?” Shane asked as casually as he could. “Like, a club, or...” “He wants to know if it is a gay club,” Ilya said helpfully. Shane stepped on Ilya’s foot. “No.” “It’s just a bar. Club. Whatever,” Fabian said with a wave of his elegant hand. Then he leaned in and, with a mischievous grin, said, “But it will be gay by the time I’m done playing.”

“Shane thinks he is getting old,” Ilya said. “He fears death.” “That’s not it at all! I fear not living up to the expectations of the Montreal Voyageurs organization and our fans.” “Would be easier to cheat death,” Ilya said, “than to meet Montreal’s hockey expectations.” He wasn’t wrong.

“Why is it a secret? You wouldn’t be the only gay hockey players. Or queer. Sorry, I shouldn’t assume.” “I am bisexual,” Ilya said, nodding. “Shane is super gay.” “I’m regular gay,” Shane argued. “And, no, we aren’t the only queer NHL players. But our situation is complicated.”

“Do you think we looked like that to them?” “What, sexy? I probably did.” “No, like...in love?” Ilya seemed to consider the question before answering. “We are very good at pretending to not be in love. Maybe we are bad at showing it when we are allowed.”

“This room remind you of anything?” Shane asked as he traced a finger along Ilya’s forearm. Ilya’s lips curved up. “When you were very unprofessional, making that commercial with me.” “Me? You were the one who propositioned me.” “After you pointed your boner at me.” Shane’s mouth fell open. He closed it. Then opened it again. “You were showing off.” “Showing off?” “Yeah. With all your naked muscles and ass...flexing.” Ilya laughed. “What?” “You knew what you were doing.” Ilya kissed his forehead. “Maybe.”

It would be, altogether, their eleventh NHL season of hiding. Seven seasons of secret hookups, and three seasons of being in a mostly secret committed relationship. It had been a lot of hiding. “Sure,” Ilya said. “I hate it.” “I know. Me too.” “I can’t believe no one has figured it out yet.” “Well,” Ilya said, brushing a thumb over Shane’s cheek. “I am way out of your league.” “Right.” “Who would believe you if you told them?”

“I’d better get out of here before you take your shorts off and I actually combust.” Ilya’s lips quirked up. “Do you even work for this team, or do you just hang out in the locker room?” Harris winked at him. “Don’t tell anyone.”

“Do you think I’d be a good dad?” “Sure. You’d be the responsible one who makes sure they, like, eat vegetables and brush their teeth and stuff. Ilya would be the fun one who buys them Jet Skis for their tenth birthdays.” “Oh god. He would do that.” “And you’d return them and buy the kids sensible shoes or something instead,” Hayden teased. “Eat shit. I’d be a cool dad.” Hayden wrapped a hand around Shane’s forearm. “Shane. Buddy. You’ve never been cool about anything ever. And parenting is the most high-stress thing you can do. You’ll be an absolute mess.” “Thanks.”

“Someone might notice my heart eyes.” “Your what?” “Heart eyes. Hayden said I look at you with heart eyes.” Shane squirmed against his bedsheets. “When did he say that?” “At camp. I was staring at you and he said—” “Oh god.” Shane palmed his face. “He did not say that.” “Yes. Was probably true. I look at you and I am just...” Ilya opened and closed his fist several times in front of his chest. “My heart goes crazy, you know?” Shane’s own heart started going a little crazy. “You should see a doctor about that.” Ilya grinned and shook his head. “Is just being in love, I think.”

“Man,” Bood said as they skated to the bench, “this town hates you.” “Nah. They wish I played for them.” Bood laughed. “Hollander would hate that.” “My good friend Shane Hollander, you mean?” “There’s no way he likes you that much.” “He loves me,” Ilya said plainly. Honestly. Bood, of course, thought he was kidding. “Now you’re really dreaming.” Ilya chomped on his mouth guard to avoid smiling.

“I wish you’d tell me one thing you said.” “Why?” Ilya snapped, his voice loud and sharp enough to startle Shane. “Was boring. I could not say any of the things I wanted to say. I said you were a great hockey player. A nice guy. Very competitive. All of the shit that any of your teammates could have said.” Ilya sighed loudly, then continued in a quieter tone. “When you watch it, this is what you will see. Me saying nothing. I wanted to say you are fucking everything to me. Everything. Okay?” Shane swallowed hard. “Oh.”

“You will be a good dad.” Shane rested his forehead on Ilya’s shoulder and smiled. “Not as good as you.” Ilya huffed. “Not everything is a competition with us.” “We’d find a way to make parenting a competition.” Strong arms tightened around Shane. “No. It will be together. Peaceful.”

“For dessert,” Ilya said with a slight quirk of his lips, “we can look at a picture of cake.” Shane rolled his eyes. “Or...” Ilya leaned in suggestively. “Maybe there is something else you are craving?” “Like your dick, you mean?” Shane asked dryly. Ilya grinned. “Is that part of your diet?” “Gross.”

“I am so glad I met you,” Ilya said quietly. Shane’s heart clenched. It was such a simple statement, but it was so open and honest, and it instantly made Shane think of the flip side of those words. What if they’d never met? But they had, and they were perfect for each other in a way that probably only they would ever understand. Their relationship wasn’t easy, but it existed. They’d made it happen, against all odds, and they’d protected it.

“Oh come on,” he cried, about thirty seconds later when Ilya started adding a layer of Nutella to the mountain of cream cheese. “What?” Ilya asked. Shane waved a hand at Ilya’s breakfast. “That’s how you’re going to start your day?” “No,” Ilya said, dipping his knife back into the Nutella jar. “I started my day by blowing you. Remember?”

“Why did he tell you?” It suddenly occurred to Shane that the reason Troy had come out to Ilya was because he was interested in Ilya. “I took him out last night. To the Kingfisher. Was his first gay bar, he said.” Then Ilya laughed. “You’d like him. You are both very bad at being gay.” “Hilarious,” Shane said flatly.

“Were you surprised when he told you? Because I’m pretty fucking surprised.” “No. Because of the crush on Harris thing. And also he was checking me out a few times.” Shane exhaled slowly. “I don’t think I like Troy.” “Why? You have a lot in common. You both are short, gay, and both think I am hot.” “Your favorite qualities in a man.”

“You sound like Ilya.” “Because we’re very much aligned in our views when it comes to you.” “You both think I’m an uptight wet blanket.” “We both love you to death, and want you to be happy. And we both know you can be your own worst enemy.” “Well. I had another enemy, but then I fell in love with him.”

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.” Ilya swallowed. Why was it so hard to swallow? It was like he had no saliva at all. “We’ve wasted so much time,” Shane continued. “Years of denial, then years of hiding what we are to each other.” “Shane—” “Could you not interrupt?” Shane said with a teasing smile. “For once in your life?”

“I mean,” Shane said quickly, “we could hide in plain sight a bit? I think it would work. I just learned that J.J. thinks I have an unrequited crush on you.” “Un-what?” “Like, he thinks I’m in love with my straight friend.” Ilya laughed. “That must be very hard for you.”

“I need too much from you tonight.” “You can have it. Anything.” A soft sound escaped Ilya’s lips, close to a whimper. “Take me apart, Hollander.”

“There we are,” Ilya said. He was quiet a moment and then said, “Oh yes. This would be hard to deny.” He huffed. “We are really going for it.” “This is a fucking nightmare,” Shane said faintly. The couch began to shake, and Shane realized that Ilya was laughing. “It’s not funny.” “Is very funny!” Ilya squeaked out. “Hayden’s stupid FanMail video. Oh my god. This was somebody’s birthday greeting. Someone named Brad.” “Sorry, Brad,” Shane mumbled. That made Ilya absolutely lose it. He fell over on the couch, howling with laughter. Anya whimpered with concern. “Stop laughing!” Shane said, but now he was laughing too.

“So that’s a long-winded way of saying I have your back. That I understand.” Ilya’s lips curved up. “This team is very gay.” Wiebe laughed. “Technically, I’m bisexual. To be clear, I love my wife. I’m not hiding anything.” Ilya’s smile grew. “Bisexual! Great. Yes, me too.” “I figured, what with your long and impressive history with the ladies.”

This is the gayest hockey team of all time and I'm so here for it

“I feel like shit.” “Try another Snickers bar.” “I shouldn’t have eaten that. Or maybe I should have been eating them all along. Fuck, what am I even doing with this diet?” “Trying to live forever, I thought.” “With you? No thank you.”

“The hell?” Shane said when he realized Ilya had led him to his trophy room. Ilya just smiled at him. “No way,” Shane said. “Weird.” “Is it?” Ilya asked, trailing a finger along Shane’s jaw. “I thought you need a reminder, before our meeting tomorrow.” “Reminder of what?” Shane said faintly as he tipped his head to the side and closed his eyes. Ilya kissed just under his jaw, then in front of his ear. “Of who the fuck you are.”

“I am offering the only option that will save both of your careers and the reputation of this league. If you post your own statement and start flaunting your...relationship...then you will obliterate your legacies. You’ll be jokes. Choose carefully.” For a long, tense moment, there was only the sound of three men breathing angrily. Then Shane stood and said, “I choose him. Come on, Ilya.”

Ilya snapped a few quick photos, then lowered his phone to look at them. “Oh,” Shane said quietly. “Look at us.” They both looked so fucking in love it was disgusting. “I am keeping these ones,” Ilya said firmly. “I guess we don’t have to delete those kinds of photos anymore,” Shane said. “Within reason, I mean. I don’t want anything graphic getting out there.” “Good thing I didn’t take a photo ten minutes ago, then.”

“You read the post, probably, about me and Shane.” He glanced around the room, and saw a few nods. “So. Yes. We are together.” There was a long, weird silence, and the Bood broke it by saying, “Figures.” Ilya raised his eyebrows at him and waited. Bood smiled. “You stealing the fucking spotlight. Barrett comes out, announces his relationship with Harris, and then Roz says ‘hold my beer.’” “Yeah, Ilya,” Troy said with a grin. “What the fuck?”

“I know it’s awkward because we’re in the middle of a playoff series, but I wanted to talk to you guys about...you know.” He waved a hand between Ilya and Shane. “Uh-oh,” Ilya said. “Are we getting a lecture from Dad?” Scott looked at Shane. “Is it possible for him to not be an asshole for five seconds?” “No,” Shane said.

“Want to watch the game tonight?” The final round of the playoffs was starting that night, between New York and Colorado. “Not really,” Ilya said. Shane smiled. “Me neither.” “Do you know what I want to do?” “Is it filthy?” “No. I want to make a video.” “That sounds filthy.”

“God, I hope someone signs me.” Ilya snorted. “Of course they will.” “What if—” “Shane,” Ilya said seriously. “Do we have to drive back to your trophy room in Montreal?” Shane blushed. “No.” “Or maybe you watch a YouTube video of your best goals while I blow you?” Heat flooded Shane’s stomach. “I mean. It wouldn’t hurt to try.”

“So, dinner tonight?” Ilya smiled. “A date. Yes. Can you wear that jersey?” Shane laughed. “No.” “Can I take you to bed now, then? And you wear only that jersey?” Shane leaned in and kissed him. “Is this a hazing thing?” “Yes. I do it to everyone.” “Shut up.”

“Oh! Ilya’s out there.” Shane tried to go to the window, but Yuna stopped him. “You’ll see him at the ceremony! It’s bad luck to see him before then.” “Mom. I saw him this morning. We woke up together, had breakfast.” He left out the third thing they’d done. “Just indulge me. My only child is getting married! I’m allowed to be nuts.”

“So,” said a voice behind Ilya. He glanced up from where he was sitting on the grass and saw Hayden. “You stole my best friend.” “Yes. But you outed us in a FanMail video, so maybe we are even.” “Look, I’m really fucking sorry about that. I—” Ilya laughed, and stood up. “I am kidding.”

“I love you so much it sucks.” Shane beamed at him. “That’s too bad, because this is as good as it’s going to get.” “No,” Ilya said fondly. “I don’t think it is.”