Gay male culture is not a monolith. Gay men love to specify the type of homosexual that they are and the type of homosexual that they want. Maybe young queer folks today are more open to different types of people, but in the late nineties when I was first coming out, there were strict groups of gay guys, and you needed to declare your tribe. The problem was that I did not fit into any of the common types of gay men. I was too big (both physically and emotionally) to be a young, slim twink. And while I am big like a bear, I am not hairy. I have body hair like a dolphin, which is to say, just
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