Dear Reader (Devil's Backbone, #1)

by Tate James

don’t much care what you believe, Nathaniel. You clearly have your panties in a bunch about daddy remarrying, but that’s an issue for you and your therapist—nothing to do with me. Now, since I’m not a masochist, I think I’ll find somewhere else to sit.” I pushed my seat back and stood. “I wish I could say it was lovely to meet you all, but frankly I’ve had more pleasant experiences stepping in dog shit.”

Jade had shut up real quick and scrambled to her feet with wide eyes. “Carter! What, um, how are you?” Nate’s bestie just grunted, placing me down so close that I ended up standing on his shoes, and when I tried to move away, he held me tighter. “I’m irritated, Jade, that’s how I am. Get the fuck out of here and stop picking fights with my little Spark.”

“She is not an Essex,” Nate spat with palpable venom. “Neither is Carina, no matter what the marriage certificate says. She doesn’t get a free pass into the DBs just because my dad is cuntstruck.” My jaw dropped. What a vile shit, Nate was. Mom and Max always spoke so highly of him and this was the crap he said behind their backs?

“What…” My question was a breathy croak as he released me, and I cleared my throat to try again. “Um, what…no one is here to see.” He just grinned and took his seat on the other side of the table, smug as a damn cat. “I know. I just like kissing you. So, what are we working on?”

Oh. Fucking hell…he wanted me to jump. No time to think, no time to argue, I carefully shifted from my crouch and climbed out onto one of the chandelier arms. The whole structure tilted dramatically, and my heart lodged in my throat. It was now or never, so I placed my faith in the arms of Carter Bassington Junior. For the second time since arriving at Nevaeh University, I free-fell and saw my short, uneventful life flash before my eyes. But then Carter caught me and everything blurred as he sprinted us out of the mansion. “Holy shit!” he whooped as he sprinted down the driveway with me still held firmly in his arms. “Holy fucking shit, Spark, you’re insane!”

“I was so focused on getting out without being seen. I didn’t take a picture of the last duck.” He shrugged, grinning. “Don’t stress. I took one while I was hiding.” He pulled out his phone and showed me the zoomed in shot of me crouching in the center of the chandelier with a little red duck beside me. “If we don’t win this challenge, Spark, I’m calling it rigged.” I smiled, because I was as confident as him. No way would anyone beat our ducks. “This was…fun,” I admitted reluctantly. “Thanks for inviting me.” Carter snatched up my hand and pressed a kiss to my knuckles. “The pleasure was entirely mine, Spark. You surprised me…and that doesn’t happen often.”

“Carter…my underwear.” His gaze heated like an inferno. “Shit…now I know you’re not wearing any, we’ll be lucky to make it back to the room.” I couldn’t help smiling like a loved-up idiot. He was disheveled himself, shirt half untucked and lips flushed. Sexy as hell and I’d already forgotten all the reasons why it was a bad idea to become involved with him. True to prediction, we didn’t make it to the room…but it was me who initiated by hitting the elevator Stop button and pouncing on him. I couldn’t get enough, even though the little voice of reason in the back of my mind warned that it was an awful idea. That I was setting myself up for a world of pain when we got back to Nevaeh University. I told that voice to shut the fuck up.

It’d been ten days since I returned to campus, eighteen days since my hike through the woods, and I still couldn’t get warm. Royce thought it was in my head, and I thought he should shut the fuck up.

“You look beautiful, Squirrel,” Royce murmured in my ear as I fidgeted and tried to ignore the stares of other women. “They’re just jealous because clearly you didn’t need a Portia Levigne dress to snag a date with a fucking catch like me.” I laughed, despite my nerves. “You’re so full of yourself,” I muttered. “No wonder you don’t have a girlfriend.” He just shot me one of those arrogant smiles. “Nah, it’s because I’m just waiting for you to admit you’re falling in love and drop Heathcliff like a sack of bricks.”

Heath scowled. “I meant just me and Ashley…” “And he meant his bedroom,” Carly added with a smirk. “Roycey, why you gotta cockblock your friends so hard?” She had a good question. Royce just smirked his mischief smile. “Isn’t it obvious? I desperately want Ashley to fall in love with me so letting Heath get his dick wet is totally counterproductive to my evil plans. Keep up, Carly babe, it’s a long game.” I rolled my eyes at his heavy sarcasm. “Remind me why I haven’t smothered you with a pillow yet?”

Everyone was just acting like the weekend getaway—and Bart’s death—hadn’t happened. Except for Royce, who pitched a well-planned argument via PowerPoint presentation about why it was a good idea that he share my bed rather than sleep on the floor.

“Squirrel,” Royce called out with an edge of panic. “Say the word, roomie, I’ll break this door down.” Carter glared at me, his back against the door. He was practically daring me to scream for help. Dick. “She’s fine, Royce,” he snapped. “Squirrel?” Royce asked again, needing to hear it from me. I sighed, throwing my hands in the air. “I’m fine, Royce. If I don’t show up at class, make sure you search the campus dumpsters for my body.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have lied but I didn’t want his death on your conscience.” “So why are you telling me now?” I whispered, panicked and distraught. Tears burned in the backs of my eyes and all I could think of was how did Abigail know? Carter cupped my cheek, his thumb swiping a tear that escaped. “Because that’s why I said the things I said when we got back. I was so…fucking hell, Spark, I am so obsessed with you I just wanted to make it work. But the guy I called to fix my mess reports to my mother. When we got back, she made her threats clear.”

“So you were a fucking prick to me because your mommy said she doesn’t like my pedigree?”

Fuck it. He owed me this. A proper farewell. I kissed him back, throwing my arms around his neck and loving the way he lifted me off the ground to clear the gap between our heights. Then my ass was back on the desk where I’d been perched just a moment ago and his hands were on my thighs… “Carter…” I gasped as he hooked his fingers under the elastic of my panties and started to drag them down. “You asked if you could kiss me.” He tossed my panties aside, sinking to his knees between my spread legs. “I didn’t specify where.”

she changed the subject by asking me about what happened with Carter. Reluctantly, I told her. Then she cracked up laughing so hard tears came out of her eyes and she couldn’t get words out. “I don’t…I don’t know what’s funny,” I admitted, grinning at her antics. She flapped a hand at me but was still laughing too hard to form words. Weirdo. Her cackles were contagious though, and I found myself chuckling just because she was so delirious. “I’m so confused,” I admitted between giggles. She finally sobered up enough to dab her eyes and draw a breath. “Sorry,” she said between easing laughs, “Sorry, it wasn’t even that funny. I just started thinking about Nate’s face when he realized all three of his friends are besotted with you. He looked like he was going to shit his pants.” More giggles.

Then the doorbell rang. Without even realizing what I was doing, I dashed out to answer it and nearly cried when I found Royce standing there. His shoulders were slumped and his eyes red-rimmed and puffy. The smell of whiskey on his rumpled shirt was intense, but I didn’t hesitate when he stepped forward and grabbed me in a hug so tight it nearly cracked my ribs. “Can I sleep with you tonight, roomie?” he mumbled into my hair, lifting me off the ground with the intensity of his hug. “I don’t like being alone.” My heart cracked right the fuck open. “I don’t like being alone, either.”

“Heath, honey?” I called out, “Are you here?” The door swung open, and a scream ripped from my throat. My hands gripped the doorframe, holding me upright where I otherwise would have collapsed in horror. The thump we’d heard was the chair falling. My beautiful, troubled boy was there in the middle of the room, a makeshift noose around his neck as he hung from the ceiling fan.

NO FUCKING WAY HE CANT BE DEAD I CRY