Autobiography of a Yogi (Self-Realization Fellowship)

by Paramahansa Yogananda

I felt that the falling shades of evening were sympathetically drunk with God.

Saints of all religions have attained God-realization through the simple concept of the Cosmic Beloved. Because the Absolute is nirguna, “without qualities,” and acintya, “inconceivable,” human thought and yearning have ever personalized It as the Universal Mother.

The humility of Master Mahasaya and of all other saints springs from a recognition of their total dependence (seshatva) on the Lord as the sole Life and Judge. Because the very nature of God is Bliss, the man in attunement with Him experiences a native boundless joy. “The first of the passions of the soul and the will is joy.”4 Devotees of all the ages, approaching the Mother in a childlike spirit, testify that they find Her ever at play with them.

“Its unshackling effect on my sensory bonds will free me for higher spheres.

Ananta spoke with a spiritual enthusiasm never before noticeable.

A throb of wonderment stole over me as I realized that twenty-eight days had elapsed since the Banaras meeting with my guru. “You will come to me in four weeks!” Here I was, heart pounding, standing within his courtyard on quiet Rai Ghat Lane. I entered for the first time the hermitage where I was to spend the best part of the next ten years with India’s Jnanavatar, “incarnation of wisdom.”

A guru must be on intimate terms indeed with the Creator before he can obligate Him to appear! I sensed Sri Yukteswar’s divine unity, and was determined, as his disciple, to press my advantage.

Moral: Look fear in the face and it will cease to trouble you.

Moral: Attachment is blinding; it lends an imaginary halo of attractiveness to the object of desire.

I heard my mother remark occasionally: ‘A man who accepts a job under anyone is a slave.’

To my relief, he seldom referred to the halls of learning. Though it was plain to all that I was never cut out for a scholar, I managed to attain minimum passing grades from time to time. Daily life at the ashram flowed smoothly, infrequently varied. My guru awoke before dawn. Lying down, or sometimes sitting on the bed, he entered a state of samadhi.4 It was simplicity itself to discover when Master had awakened: abrupt halt of stupendous snores.5 A sigh or two; perhaps a bodily movement. Then a soundless state of breathlessness: he was in deep yogic joy. Breakfast did not follow; first came a long walk by the Ganges.

A bath, then the midday meal.

My guru was a vegetarian. Before embracing monkhood, however, he had eaten eggs and fish. His advice to students was to follow any simple diet which proved suited to one’s constitution. Master ate little; often rice, colored with turmeric or juice of beets or spinach and lightly sprinkled with buffalo ghee or melted butter. Another day he might have lentil-dal or channa6 curry with vegetables. For dessert, mangoes or oranges with rice pudding, or jackfruit juice.

The impartiality of saints is rooted in wisdom. They are no longer influenced by the alternating faces of maya, no longer subject to the likes and dislikes that confuse the judgment of unenlightened men. Sri Yukteswar showed no special consideration to those who were powerful, rich, or accomplished; neither did he slight others for their poverty or illiteracy. He would listen respectfully to words of truth from a child; and, on occasion, would openly ignore a conceited pundit.

“Be comfortable within your purse,” he often said. “Extravagance will bring you discomfort.”

Master manifested the originality of a creative spirit.

His thoughts were weighed in a delicate balance of discrimination before he permitted them the outward garb of speech.

Always one with the Lord, he needed no separate time for communion. A Self-realized master has already left behind the steppingstone of meditation. “The flower falls when the fruit appears.”

But saints often cling to spiritual forms in order to set an example for disciples.

As midnight approached, my guru might fall into a doze with the naturalness of a child. There was no fuss about bedding. He often lay down, without even a pillow, on a narrow davenport which w...

A night-long philosophical discussion was not rare; any disciple could summon it by intensity of interest. I felt no tiredness then, no desire for sleep; Master’s living words were sufficient. “Oh, it is dawn! Let us walk by the ...

I thought I would go mad with the bites and especially the singing drone as the mosquitoes celebrated bloodthirsty rites.

This was my first close observation of him in the yogic trance; it filled me with fright. “His heart must have failed!” I placed a mirror under his nose; no breath vapor appeared. To make doubly certain, for minutes I closed his mouth and nostrils with my fingers. His body was cold and motionless.

Change yourself: be rid of the mosquito consciousness.”

Meekly I returned to my bed. Not one insect ventured near. I realized that my guru had previously agreed to the curtains only to please me; he had had no fear of mosquitoes. By yogic power he could prevent them from biting him; or, if he chose, he could escape to an inner invulnerability.

A true yogi is able to pass into and maintain the superconscious state, regardless of multitudinous distractions never absent from this earth — the buzz of insects! the pervasive glare of daylight! In the first state of samadhi (sabikalpa), the devotee shuts off all sensory testimony of the outer world. He is rewarded then by sounds and scenes of inner realms fairer than the pristine Eden.

“By ahimsa Patanjali meant removal of the desire to kill.”

Man may be compelled to exterminate harmful creatures. He is not under a similar compulsion to feel anger or animosity. All forms of life have an equal right to the air of maya. The saint who uncovers the secret of creation will be in harmony with Nature’s countless bewildering expressions. All men may understand this truth by overcoming the passion for destruction.”

man’s body is precious. It has the highest evolutionary value because of unique brain and spinal centers. These enable the advanced devotee fully to grasp and express the loftiest aspects of divinity. No lower form is so equipped.

the holy shastras teach that wanton loss of a human body is a serious transgression against the karmic law.”

scriptural reinforcement of one’s natural instincts is not always forthcoming.

“I have since come to realize that our divine guru is beyond fear of hurt from any creature.”

“Medicines have limitations; the divine creative life force has none. Believe that: you shall be well and strong.”

my guru, however, added encouragingly: “‘Let me see; I am sure you ought to feel better tomorrow.’ “My receptive mind accepted his words as a hint that he was secretly healing me. The next morning I sought him out and exclaimed exultingly, ‘Sir, I feel much better today.’ “‘Indeed! Today you invigorate yourself.’

‘You have seen how your health has exactly followed your subconscious expectations.

Thought is a force, even as electricity or gravitation.

‘Master, if I think that I am well and that I have regained my former weight, shall those things come to pass?’ “‘It is so, even at this moment.’ My guru spoke gravely, his gaze concentrated on my eyes.

“I weighed myself and found that in one day I had gained fifty pounds; they have remained permanently.

abrupt period to Master’s exposition. “You are not here.” Sri Yukteswar interrupted himself one afternoon with this observation. As usual, he was keeping relentless track of my attention. “Guruji!” My tone was a protest. “I have not stirred; my eyelids have not moved; I can repeat each word you have uttered!” “Nevertheless you were not fully with me. Your objection forces me to remark that in your mental background you were creating three institutions. One was a sylvan retreat on a plain, another on a hilltop, still another by the ocean.”

my guru revealed his knowledge of the coming of three important events in my life. Since early youth I had had enigmatic glimpses of three buildings, each in a different setting. In the exact sequence Sri Yukteswar had indicated, these visions took ultimate form. First came my founding of a boys’ yoga school on a plain in Ranchi, then an American headquarters on a Los Angeles hilltop, and then a hermitage in Encinitas, California, overlooking the vast Pacific.

“A man of realization does not perform any miracle until he receives an inward sanction,” Master explained. “God does not wish the secrets of His creation revealed promiscuously.

A saying from the Hindu scriptures is: “In shallow men the fish of little thoughts cause much commotion. In oceanic minds the whales of inspiration make hardly a ruffle.”

“He is a fool that cannot conceal his wisdom,”

The ashram residents loved and revered their guru; a slight clap of his hands sufficed to bring them eagerly to his side.

The Divine, he pointed out, is properly manifested through physical and mental soundness.

“Wisdom is the greatest cleanser.”

Disbelieve in the reality of sickness even when you are ill; an unrecognized visitor will flee!”

“A subtle spiritual structure is hidden just behind the bodily mechanism.”

“Those who are too good for this world are adorning some other,” Sri Yukteswar remarked one day.

“So long as you breathe the free air of earth, you are under obligation to render grateful service.