Atmosphere

by Taylor Jenkins Reid

She needs to make Joan understand that there is no way to change her mind, or else Joan will blame herself for everything that happens today. She will replay it in her head for the rest of her life to see if there was anything she could have said to convince Vanessa otherwise. Vanessa cannot allow that to happen.

she’s also never sat in a chair and pretended she was only worried about losing a colleague when, really, her entire life was at stake.

But if Joan’s voice is the one with her now, she must have done something right.

How could I say I loved you if I didn’t love this about you?

He puts his hand on Joan’s shoulder. “Tell her what you need to tell her,” he whispers.

We asked for so much, didn’t we? We wanted to touch the stars, and look what we did. There’s nothing more we could ask from the universe, or this God you always talk about, than that. So it’s okay. It’s fine. Okay, Joan? For me, as long as you all know what you meant to me, it all worked out fine.”

She had asked the world to please let her earn the love of that gorgeous, brilliant astronomer with that beautiful smile. She had asked the world to let her leave a legacy she could be proud of. She’d been given everything.

They say love isn’t always enough, but Joan knew, in that moment, that it could have been.

What a gift. To have known Vanessa, and to have loved her. The way the universe had developed—the way God itself unfolded—was that Vanessa had been here for thirty-seven years. But Joan had been given four of them.

Joan understands that God gave her something spectacular. A love, and a life, beyond the confines of her imagination.

Maybe they had not asked for too much. Maybe they would get everything they wanted.

And finally, as always, to Lilah. I told you the story of Joan and Vanessa the day I finished it. And you listened to every word. You gasped, and you swooned, and then, at the end, you cried. Nothing I’ve ever done creatively has been as satisfying as that. How lucky am I? To be the one to tell you a story. I will tell you stories forever, my love. And eagerly listen to all of yours. Because while the great expanse of space may be enticing, I belong here, with you, looking up at the stars from afar. You are, forever, my Frances.