Em and the Big Hoom

by Jerry Pinto

‘But if anything should go wrong . . .’ ‘Like what?’ ‘Oh, if he should try and rape you . . .’ ‘Em!’ ‘It has been known to happen,’ said Em. ‘Pretend you’re trying to stroke his swollen cock and then give his balls a twist. Then run.’

Growing up, I knew I did not have many advantages. I had no social skills. I had no friends. I had no home – no home that was a refuge.

This is the standard equipment of the neo-atheist: eager to allow other people to believe, unwilling to proselytize to his own world which seems bleaker without God but easier to accept.

‘That’s where pride comes in, and stubbornness. The city is a challenge but it’s a challenge that doesn’t care either way. If you go home, it won’t jeer, it just won’t notice. You can stay and work hard and make something of yourself and it still won’t notice. But you will know. I would have known that I had failed. So I stayed.’

Dear Imelda, In accordance with your wishes, I did not imagine you smiling. I did not smile myself. But I am willing to take my chances. Your body is yours to give or not. Should you decide not, I will respect that, although I must warn you that I will work hard to reverse your decision. Let me say, though, that I find all the signs most encouraging. Shall we go forward then? Love, Augustine.

This kind of picture, man at desk in office, isn’t the kind I have seen in many other people’s albums. Perhaps it has something to do with my father being the first generation of office workers in a family of peasants. It might well have been taken as a way of proving something to the village.

‘The fifth amendment to the Indian Constitution concerns the relationship between the Centre and the states,’

I ordered a garlic chicken dry from the Chinese thela down the road and found it had gone all swanky. The dish came wrapped in foil instead of the usual thin plastic packet. When I held out the money, the boy looked abashed. ‘Uncle ko bolo, free.’ Then he dashed off. This was The City, India’s biggest, a huge city, but people heard and responded to what was happening in your life. Sometimes, this much was enough.