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Memories were scary, how they could break you with simply your own thoughts.
Because when people died, they took their voices with them. I wondered if they knew how much the people left behind would kill for their sounds one last time.
“Where did you get your band’s name from?” I questioned. “Shakespeare. Romeo’s quest to find love.” “That play ended pretty tragically.” “Yeah, but I don’t know…there’s something about the tragic stories of Shakespeare. It’s as if we all know how it will end, but the adventure makes it worth it. The story is complicated, but not as much as the others. Romeo loves Juliet, and she loves him. Life just gets in the way. I like to think the quest was worth the destination.” “That’s depressing.” I laughed.
“Your music made me smile,” I said, sipping at my water. “I haven’t smiled this much in a very long time.” Daniel laid his forearms on the table and laced his fingers together. He studied my face for a moment, not speaking. His soft smile filled the silence like a perfected speech. His eyes pierced my spirit before he tore his gaze away and lifted his beer up for a swallow. “That’s a real shame.” “Why’s that?” “Because when the world gives a person a smile like that, it should be the only activity those lips ever partake in.”
“Well, do it. Become an author.” It was my turn to giggle. “Yeah, because it’s that easy.” His head shook back and forth. A somber look overtook him and he held his beer in the air. “I never said it would be easy. I just said do it. Besides, the best things in life aren’t easy. They are tough, they are painful, and they are raw. That makes the arrival at the final destination that much sweeter.”
Why didn’t anyone ever throw reading parties? I would be all over that crap.
There was nothing as romantic as the feel of a book in your hands. Except Daniel. He was pretty romantic.
“Because pretending to be happy is almost like being happy…until you remember that you’re only pretending. Then you’re sad—really sad—because wearing a mask every day of your life is the hardest thing to do. After a while, you get a little scared because the mask becomes you.”
Felt that on a deep level.
I thought without interacting in an intimate setting, my feelings would trail off, but they didn’t. They only grew each and every time I saw her step foot into my classroom. Sometimes I would catch her walking in with Ryan, and the way she would smile when she spoke to him made me feel as if I were floating. Her smiles were addicting, and I wished they’d been created for me. I hated that I couldn’t tell her how beautiful she looked each and every day. I hated that, when she walked into my classroom, I had to pretend she wasn’t on my mind. I hated that she wouldn’t participate in class
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Instead of drowning in a land of depression, I decided picking up a library card would be a better choice. Drowning myself in make-believe seemed more promising.
“Humans weren’t made to be perfect, Daniel. We were made to screw up, fuck up, and learn new things. We were made perfectly imperfect.”
“I want to be yours, I want you to be mine, and I hate that we can’t be us, because I think we were meant to be us.” “How is it that we never get to spend time together, but I feel like you know me better than anyone? How is it that I keep falling for you?” The look of wonder in his eyes was beautiful. It was as if he had been wondering the same thing about me. “I don’t know. Maybe because when hearts are set on fire, no complications can extinguish the flame.” “It can be a secret,” I softly promised. “Our secret—one hundred percent ours.”
I’ve been thinking about something we should do. We should fall in love around two. And then when it becomes four, I’ll start loving on you even more. -Romeo’s Quest
“If I’ve learned anything these past few months, it’s that life sucks, Daniel. It sucks. It’s mean, it’s vicious, and it’s unapologetic. It’s dark and cruel, but then, sometimes, it’s so beautiful it knocks all that darkness out of your system with the light.
“What do I want to be when I grow up? Mr. D, that seems to be a very heavy question for someone my age. Life is hard and adults are always telling us ‘kids’ that it just gets worse as time passes. I’m been trying my best to understand what keeps people going, what keeps them reaching for something greater in this world. Belief? Hope? Passion? “I’m gay, Mr. D. I’ve never said those words to a teacher, but the way you walked into class on the first day with so many nerves made me realize I can trust you. You’re just as afraid of some secret as I am. So, I thought I would share my secret with
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“I know how it is, how painfully unnecessary death can seem. It just feels like you want to get revenge on the world for taking away the things you love.”
“I’ve had a lot of terrible things happen in my life, and what I’ve come to realize is if you don’t say what you need to say when you have the chance…you’ll regret it. Even if you’re mad, say it. Scream it into the world while you still have a chance to, because once life passes you by, it’s gone, and so are the words left unspoken.”
I’d known hearts could hurt, but I’d never known they could bleed out into the realms of nothingness.
“I’ll give up my world for you, Ash. I’ll give it all up.”
I would literally die for you Daniel :(
There were so many times I wanted to turn back to him and take back my words, but I knew I’d made the right decision. Because if it were the wrong decision, my heart wouldn’t hurt this much.
Our hearts would always beat for one another. Our souls were destined to burn together in a mystifying flame that lit the universe with hope and passion.
