contingent response is not just a mirror reflecting back to the other person an exact replica of the sent signals. Such a mirroring can be extremely frustrating. “I’m so mad that I can’t go to the park!” a boy said to his mother. Her mirroring response “You feel mad that you can’t go to the park” led him to cover his ears and stomp out of the room. Instead, a collaborative response might go something like this: “I know you really want to go to the park today. I wish we could go too. It can be disappointing and frustrating when plans have to change.” This response reveals that the mother has
...more
