Judging makes assumptions about “right or wrong” aspects of the other person’s experience. We may be critical of another person’s different approach even as we are trying to receive her signals. Sometimes these judgments come from rigid mental models that we have within ourselves. Often, we may be unaware of these internal models and the biases they create that keep us from being open and receptive. For example, because you wish your daughter could be more outgoing, you may reveal your disappointment in her through your questions and your behavior. You may give the message, indirectly through
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