Ambivalence and a Preoccupied Stance A different kind of adaptation occurs in response to a family life with inconsistently available parents and can yield a sense of anxiety about whether or not others are dependable. This response to inconsistent or intrusive parenting can yield a feeling of ambivalence and uncertainty. This may be experienced by an adult as a desperate need for others and a simultaneous sinking feeling that one’s own needs can never be met. There may be a sense of urgency for connection that may ironically push others away and thus create a self-reinforcing feedback loop
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