Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive

by Daniel J. Siegel

We are not destined to repeat the patterns of our parents or of our past. Making sense of our lives enables us to build on positive experiences as we move beyond the limitations of our past and create a new way of living for ourselves and for our children. Making sense of our own lives can help us to provide our children with relationships that promote their sense of well-being, give them tools for building an internal sense of security and resilience, and offer them interpersonal skills that enable them to make meaningful, compassionate connections in the future. How we have come to make sense of our lives, how we tell a coherent story of our early life experiences, is the best predictor of how our children will become attached to us. Adults who have made sense of their lives have an adult security of attachment and are likely to have children who are securely attached to them. Enabling our children to build a secure attachment lays a foundation for their future healthy development.