Secret Haven (Sparrow Falls, #6)

by Catherine Cowles

He looked back and forth between us. “If you’re wrong, you gotta help me drown my sorrows in Yoo-hoo.” Mateo let out a strangled sound. “I’m sorry, did a six-year-old just say he might need to drown his sorrows?”

Are there tiny penises in that glitter? Cope Yes. There. Are. And they’re fucking everywhere! I’m probably going to have dick hair for the next two weeks.

Copeland Colson, the face of menswear and men’s appendages. Rho A true dick-fluencer. Arden A peen-thusiast.

“I know you think Kye is some big, scary, tattooed monster, but he’s not. He’s the kindest and gentlest man I’ve ever known. And that’s saying something because my father was one of the best.” My throat constricted at the memory of the man whose tenderness with animals and children was unparalleled…until Kyler. “You haven’t seen Kye playing dress-up tea party with his niece. Or having a Nerf war with his nephew. You didn’t see him holding me together when grief got the best of me.”

“He got to you when you were vulnerable,” Noah cut in. “The hell he did,” I snapped. “He gave me a safe place to let out everything I was feeling after losing my dad and brother. And he was there for me every step of the way as I tried to move on.”

Kye wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. “Sometimes, the pain is worth the beauty in the end.”

“You couldn’t be more wrong,” I growled. “Kyler is everything. And you missed out on the greatest gift of your life: knowing him.”

“Hush your mouth, child,” Lolli scolded. “Just because you and Kye are tying the knot doesn’t mean I’m about to be tied down. I only want to be tied up.”

“It’s also not fake.” Rho’s brows pulled together. “What do you mean?” “I’ve been in love with him since I was fourteen. He was my first kiss. He’s…he’s my everything.”

“He was there for me. I was struggling. Still trying to process losing Dad and Jacob, especially starting high school without them there. I used to go to the creek between the middle and high schools and scream. Because I couldn’t do it at home. Couldn’t do it anywhere else. He saw me one day and said, ‘Let it all out, Sparrow. Don’t let it drown you.’”

She laughed and hugged me harder, her mouth dropping to my ear. “Find your happy, Fal. You deserve it more than anyone I’ve ever known.”

“Fallon,” she rasped. “You’re breathtaking.” Her breath hitched. “I’d give anything for your dad to see this.” Tears pooled in my eyes. “I miss him.” She wrapped me in her comforting embrace yet again. “He’s here. Because we carry him with us in everything we do.”

Lolli crossed to me then, her hands lifting to my cheeks. “You are the most precious gift. You make this world a better place, and I know you bring light to Kye’s.”

Sparrow, I know you always imagined your dad walking you down the aisle. I wanted to remind you that he’s always with you—now and wherever your path may lead. Thank you for the gift you’re giving me. It’s something I’ll never be able to repay. But I’ll live every day trying. It’s an honor to be your husband, even if only for a little while. Kyler

My breath caught as the whole world disappeared until it was only Kyler and me. In that moment, I knew there would never be another for me. He was the only man I wanted to marry. His was the only ring I wanted to wear. He was my everything. And while this might have an expiration date in the eyes of our legal system, he would always be my forever.

“I promise to honor you with every step I take. To protect you with everything I have. To listen to your triumphs and your sorrows. To make sure you know you’re never alone. To bring you endless packs of strawberry Sour Patch Kids and make sure you always have a dose of caffeine on standby when you get a headache.”

Thea patted him on the arm, but her shoulders shook with silent laughter. “I think it’s sweet that they’re in love.” Lolli straightened. “I am not in love. I am just using Walter for his hot bod.”

“All you can do is show up. And keep showing up—whether they’re happy, sad, or pissed the heck off. Just keep showing up.” He cast a look at me over his shoulder. “Just like you always did for me.”

“You don’t have to believe they’re trustworthy yet. That takes time. Actions, not words. But they’ve proven it to me with their actions.” They’d done it for me time and time again. And they were doing it now with all the support they’d shown. My siblings and their partners had undergone background checks so they could babysit. Lolli and Nora, too. Nora had even gone so far as to requalify for respite care so we could leave the girls with her for a weekend if we ever needed to.

Keely nodded. “Ellie taught me the macarena and the dance to Bye Bye Bye. She said it’s ’portant to know your history, and the nineties is the best we got.”

“Here’s the truth: I’m okay. I’m also not okay. But in the end, I’m okay.”

“If you like your eyes in your head, get them the hell off my wife,” I growled, those last two words feeling far more right than they probably should.

So, he’d taken beating after beating—one that was so bad he’d ended up in a coma, and then almost did time in juvie—all because he’d wanted a chance…to be with me. My eyes filled. “How can you even look at me?” Kye’s eyes took on a glassy sheen. “‘Cause you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Anson grinned. I glared at him. “Why are you smiling?” “Because you love him,” he said, gesturing to Kye. Kye pinched the bridge of his nose. “A literal serial killer is running around, and you’re grinning like one of those creepy bobbleheads because Fallon loves me?”

“Kye has been through hell on Earth. He lived with parents who abused him physically and mentally. He started fighting in a circuit that meant him getting beat to hell on a regular basis in hopes of breaking free of that life. And then he managed to get himself out of both.” I sucked in air, and the words kept right on coming. “He built a multi-million-dollar business through his gifts in tattooing. Built a mixed martial arts gym that offers programming for kids in the community free of charge. And he is the best brother, uncle, son, and friend I’ve ever seen. So, don’t you ever say a word to disparage my husband ever again.”

“Shouldn’t you be watching what you’re eating now that you’re back in training?” Cope scowled at her. “I can have curly fries.” “But he also wants tater tots, truffle fries, and steak fries,” Sutton said with a knowing smile. “Hey,” Cope said, affronted. “Don’t forget the shoestrings. Those are important.”

I snatched the bottle from the counter and tipped it back. The burn felt like a balm in a way, a distraction from the other pain still coursing through me. I spat it out and slammed the bottle back down. “Guess what. It didn’t work. I can still taste you. I still feel your hands on my skin. Your fingers moving inside me.”

“It’s in me. That darkness. Because they bled it into me. With every beating. Every torment. I’m not saddling you with that.”

“You gave me a home. In every way imaginable, you gave me a home.” His hand lifted to cover mine against his face. “Do you know why I call you Sparrow?” “You said it was because you found me singing.” Only the singing had been screaming. Me letting loose all the things I’d held on to so tightly at the time.

“Dreamed of what you’d look like. Painted a million different pictures in my mind. Might’ve even put a few down on paper.”

“Sparrow, I have six boxes of notebooks full of you and you alone in the attic.”

It wasn’t just the sparrow behind his ear or the strawberry on his arm. Dogwood blossoms covered his chest. My necklace—the arrow—was woven around a realistic heart over where his lay. I saw packages of strawberry Sour Patch Kids and gummy bears.

Penelope’s face turned bright red. “You’re gonna regret this, Kyler.” “You don’t get to call me that.” My voice cracked like a whip. “Only my wife calls me that.”

squeezed his pinky. “Make me art, Kyler.” “My goddamned pleasure, Sparrow.”

My thighs pressed together in search of relief from the pressure that had been building the past several hours. “Sparrow…” Kye warned. “You keep pressing those pretty little thighs together, we’re gonna have problems.”

“You sure about that? Because I want to taste what having my hands and needles on you has done.”

Kye stood, walking to the end of the tattoo bed and bringing his stool with him, but his gaze never left me. “You’re going to have to be good. Lie perfectly still as I eat you. Because you can’t mess up my perfect canvas.”

“Tell me I can see you, Sparrow. Every inch. I’m not above begging.”

Kye sucked in air. “Fucking beautiful. You aching?” “Yes,” I breathed.

“Thoughts and prayers for the teachers of any of these children,” Sutton called from the kitchen.

“Love you, too,” Thea whispered. “And I’ll kick anyone’s ass who tries to hurt you again.” “Anson’s building me a murder shed, so I’ve got us covered for the torture portion of events,” Rhodes added, completely deadpan.

“Reckless,” Anson growled. “Don’t say that shit in front of the cops.” “We’re actually the sheriff’s department,” Gabriel corrected helpfully.

“You don’t ruin a damn thing. You make everything better. You’re like the gold in those broken Japanese pots Clem told us about. You take broken things and make them beautiful. You take tender spots and make them strong. But most of all, you let us be exactly who we are and love us for it.”

“Burn the truth in instead. Burn me in.” My finger sifted through his hair. “Strong, fierce, kind, gentle. Funny, smart, beautiful, loving. Everything I could ever dream up for myself. Everything I could ever hope for those girls.”

“Loved her since the moment I saw her,” I croaked. “Standing by the creek and screaming. Everything in her was so raw. So real. I never knew anyone who was that authentic.” Trace’s face contorted in confusion. “Screaming?” “A few years after she lost her dad and brother. Didn’t want to burden anyone with everything she was feeling. Processing. But she had to let out.”

“I knew you’d never let me go, but I had to. I can’t leave her alone in this. It’s always been Fallon. It will always be her. My air. I can’t be in a world she’s not in. He’s got her at my old house. Hurry.”

I hugged them all tighter. “You’re mine, and I’m yours. We’re a forever family, okay? No matter what comes our way.”