The Son of Neptune (The Heroes of Olympus, #2)

by Rick Riordan

Hello! My name is DIE, DEMIGOD SCUM

The stupid snack tray did not have power steering.

“House gods,” Percy said. “Like…smaller than real gods, but larger than apartment gods?”

the way she laughed, threw her arms around him, and gave him a kiss whenever he did something stupid. She must have kissed me a lot,

Reyna almost cracked a smile, which gave Percy hope. Maybe she was human after all.

“Mother Earth…is evil?

“Ouch,” Frank said, just to be nice.

Jupiter got the sky, Neptune got the sea, and Pluto got the shaft.”

Centurion Shish kebab.”

SLEPT LIKE A MEDUSA VICTIM—which is to say, like a rock.

I know you guys don’t like to mention that massacre in the nineteen-eighties—” “He mentioned it!” one of the ghosts whimpered.

Reyna’s hand rested halfway between her dagger and the jelly beans. Percy had a feeling that if she made a sudden move, she wouldn’t be grabbing for the candy.

The T-shirt didn’t answer, thankfully.

“Multigrain fighting is not allowed!”

Then he dissolved into pieces of Chex Mix.

He was no prince or hero. He was a lactose-intolerant klutz, who couldn’t even protect his friend from getting kidnapped by wheat.

“Basilisk means ‘little crown,’ which is a cute name for something that’s not very cute.

First, you start carrying a man satchel. Next thing you know, you’re running around in a bathrobe and pink bunny slippers, chasing chickens with a weed whacker.

So perhaps I should thank you.” “You’re welcome,” Percy said. The queen dug her knife in a little deeper. “Never mind. I think I’ll kill you.”

“Just over the river and through the woods.” Percy raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? To Grandmother’s house we go?”

“Life is only precious because it ends, kid. Take it from a god. You mortals don’t know how lucky you are.”

You are, hands down, the nicest child of the war god I’ve ever met…maybe the only nice one.

“He should be used to that, after so many eons married to me, but alas!

“I’m glad you asked.” Percy stood, taking the question as an opening. Octavian stammered, “I wasn’t—” “—part of the quest,” Percy said. “Yes, I know. And you’re wise to let me explain, since I was.”