When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships

by David Richo

Answer these questions in your journal and then share them with someone you trust. (The first question simply calls for a deeper acceptance of ourselves, because it seems to be part of our psychological DNA.) • Am I mostly an introvert or mostly and extrovert or evenly both? Do I notice with some people or in some situations that I am more introverted than extroverted or vice versa? • Is my definition of self-esteem based on how much others admire me or on how accurately I portray myself, inadequacies and all? • In the course of life, have I found myself mostly in leadership positions, or do I do better as a support person in projects? • Have I mostly sought partners who would be parents to me, children to me, or peers of mine? • Do I tend to see the humor and playfulness in events, or do I tend to see a darker side? • Have things come easily to me and worked out for me in my life, or has it been pretty much an uphill climb? • Do I express feelings easily and openly, or do I tend to hold them in? • Do I see myself as having an addictive personality? Do I routinely deny myself? Am I able to act in moderation? • Do I mostly find myself carefully planning, or do I act impulsively? • With respect to money, am I usually spendthrift, generous, stingy, overly indebted, or appropriate? • In intimate relationships, do I give with healthy boundaries, or am I codependent? Do I receive with gratitude, or with a sense of entitlement? Am I mostly a giver, or mostly a receiver...