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You were never too much. They just weren’t enough.
You used to like my idea of fun.
“I’ve never felt like much of a
gentleman where you’re concerned.”
“You’ve been a gentleman every goddamn day of your life, Brax, because that’s how your mama raised you, so don’t try acting all tough with me. Even when you’re asshole, you’re a gentleman about it.”
“Toodle-oo, mother fucker,”
Your bike is around
here somewhere. It’ll turn up eventually.
“Sometimes when people rub each other the wrong way, it’s because they want to tear each other’s clothes off and rub each other the right way.”
“Shhh, baby. Don’t listen to her. You’re the love of my life. Smart and beautiful.”
The only thing I couldn’t say no to was Essie Price.
Watching her find a new word was like watching the sunrise crest a mountain. She fucking glowed from it.
I was the tide and she was the moon, pushing and pulling me however she wanted. I wasn’t even mad about it.
I had never pretended to care. The only thing I had ever pretended with Essie was that I didn’t.
“You literally pulled her hair.”
“in my defense, it was shiny.”
“Honey, there’s nothing soft about me, I promise you that.”
“I think your body likes me just fine,”
“Yeah, well, my body likes a lot of things that aren’t good for it,”
“Tequila, bacon, Bobb...
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“Do not ever say his name when my hands are on you,”
“Are you serious right now? I’m not—”
“Take your hands off me, then, because I’ll say whatever name I want.”
“Yeah, but so is my dick and if you keep it up, I’m going to have trouble walking out of here.”
If you don’t stop crying when I leave, I’m not going to come see you anymore.
Even though, deep down, I knew it was because I still craved
his attention, however I could get it.
If you spend your life running away, your past will always be chasing you, dictating every move you make. Run toward your future, baby girl, and you’ll make yourself a life worth living.
“She’s not for you,”
“Yeah, you’ve made that abundantly clear. You’ve been pissing circles around that girl since you first laid eyes on her.”
“What I don’t get is why you think she’s not for you.”
“It’s not like that with us. She was ...
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“You used to be my best friend,”
“Why did you stop?”
“I told you everything. My hopes, my fears, all of it. I even talked to you about Jack, the good and the bad, even though you were his friend, too, because I knew you would never breathe a word of it to him. I knew you wouldn’t betray me. You were mine in a way that you were never his, weren’t you? I don’t know how else to explain it, but that’s how it felt.”
That’s how it was.
“I told you everything,”
“Well, almost everything. I used to think about what it would be like if we were more than friends. I never told you that. But it’s true. I used to wonder about what it would be like to kiss you.”
“Did you ever wond...
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“No,”
“I never wondered what it would be like to kiss you. I didn’t have to wonder.”
“Because I knew how it would be. The way it always is with us. Too much, and not enough.”
“Let’s go.”
Too much, and not enough.
You. The way I miss you.
So much that I ached with it, sometimes. The memories between us felt palpable.
“Like the way I miss an old friend,”
“Careful, hellion,”
“The next time you show me your tongue, I might take it as an invitation.”
“If you think Essie’s going to give you a sponge bath or rub salve on your
