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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Erin Cornia
Read between
September 20 - September 21, 2025
To the girl who turned my ordinary life into something incredible. You make every day worth living. I can’t wait to make more memories with you. I Love You, -Ben-
Even though I ache for him to be here with me, I’m able to appreciate the times we had together.
“Yes. I know that,” I say quietly. If I had a dollar for every time someone tells me that…
I’ll never know what I did to deserve someone like him.
Every day, I feel like I’m struggling to breathe.”
Just because I find Leo attractive doesn’t mean I loved Ben any less. Ben was everything to me, and his memory still holds a place in my heart.
The discomfort is… good for me, it forces me to grow.”
“He was someone that I loved… someone I loved so deeply, I don’t know if that kind of love comes along more than once in a lifetime. Sometimes I think it’s pointless to even try to find it again.”
No. It’s the fact that Ben doesn’t get to live, and I do. The fact that I get to move forward, and he doesn’t.”
“The worst guilt comes when I feel angry that he left me. God, I’m so fucking mad that I have to go through life without him. What kind of person is angry at someone for dying?”
“And it’s crazy because at the same time, I feel like I won the lottery to have loved such a wonderful person. But then it feels like God has a magnifying glass and is torturing me—like a bully, slowly burning ants alive.”
“Why does my life get to go on as if nothing has happened and his doesn’t? Why do I get another chance to fall in love when Ben can’t?”
I miss that connection so much. I miss him. I fucking miss him.
“Every woman that I’ve ever loved has either left me, cheated… or died.”
they never do, the ones who are taken from us. They never deserve it.”
“Damn you, Walker,” I mutter, surrendering as months of pent-up desire surge through me, and I crush my lips to hers. I lose the game, but I feel like I’ve just won the goddamn lottery.
The other part of me wants him to pull me into the back seat and fuck me.
But the fear of loving her only to lose her is too strong. I’ve lost too much already.
“Leo… either fuck me, or get the fuck out.” I say boldly, gesturing toward the door.
But there’s only one head I care to turn in this room,” she says unwaveringly, her green eyes locking with mine. “Well, it’s been turned, love,”
I just want to be what she needs, and I wish being her friend could be enough for us both.”
“Turns out, that’s more nuanced than I originally believed.”
“Do you think Ben knows I’m here?”
don’t downplay this moment when I want it to mean something so badly.” She wraps her hands around my neck and pulls me to her, crushing her lips to mine. We kiss deeply, our tongues taunting one another.
“It’s you, Leo. It’s been you.”
“Will you please not stop this time?”
All I know is that you are the person I want to spend all of my free time with, you’re my best friend… and after last night?” He lets out a slow exhale. “You’re also now the only person I intend to bang,” he says, grinning as he playfully nudges me.
“I always wish Ben were here,” she says honestly, “but that doesn’t take away from the fact that I want you here too.”
A lump forms in my throat as I admire her beauty, realizing that I fucking love her with every ounce of my being, despite my efforts to prevent this.
God, I need her more than I’ve ever needed anyone.
“What time is it?” I whisper between kisses. “It’s fuck me thirty, love,”
She’s building a wall again—maybe not a ten-foot wall, possibly just a fence—but a barrier nonetheless. I don’t know how to break it down, I can’t lose
“God, why won’t you just tell me how you feel? Why can’t you fucking commit to me!”
“For so long, I felt like I couldn’t breathe.” I pause, trying to gain my composure as the sobs come stronger. “I was gasping for breath every day… until I met you.”
“You put the air back into my lungs, Leo. And I will forever be grateful to you for that. But right now, it feels like I’m being put in a chokehold.”
Babe—please talk to me. I care about you more than anything. Don’t push me away.
“I’m afraid I’ll fail at loving her the way she needs to be loved, the way she deserves to be loved… the way Ben loved her.”
“I love you, Vivian. I love the way you’re always thinking of others, how you come up with your own words or phrases, your obsessive organization, and how you take over my kitchen like it’s yours. I love your wit, your humor, your stubborn determination… you’re fucking incredible. I love everything about you. And I’ve felt this way for a long time.”
In Paris… that wasn’t just sex for me. That was the first time I’ve ever really made love to someone, and I’ll never forget that night as long as I live.”
I move forward, but I will not move on.