Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (Harry Potter, #1)

by J.K. Rowling

‘Welcome!’ he said. ‘Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! ‘Thank you!’ He sat back down. Everybody clapped and cheered. Harry didn’t know whether to laugh or not.