The Girl He Used to Know

by Tracey Garvis Graves

my brain does not work like other people’s. I think in black-and-white. Concrete, not abstract. The game of chess, with its strategies and rules, matched my worldview.

The game of chess is largely silent, but to me there is great beauty in the lack of sound.

I can hardly remember the names of the girls who came before her, and after her there was only Liz. But I can recall with unbelievable clarity almost everything that happened during the time I spent with Annika. Probably because no one has ever loved me as fiercely and unconditionally as she did.

I missed her face and her smile, and I missed every one of the things that made her different.

It’s funny how the very trait that attracts you to someone is the same trait you can’t stand when you’re untangling yourselves from each other. And not funny ha-ha. Funny like how in the world could you not have seen it?

That’s the thing no one tells you about divorce. No matter how much you and your spouse agree that the relationship is broken, it hurts like hell when you go your separate ways, and the pain follows you around until one day, it doesn’t.

Though I still had far to go, I’d learned so much about people and life, and that there were very good and very bad things about both.

That was another thing I’d discovered over the years. If you’re quiet and don’t make a lot of sound, for some reason people think it means there’s something wrong with your hearing. But there was nothing wrong with mine.

All my life, I’d been waiting for someone I could be myself with. It had never occurred to me that I could be that person for someone else.

The affection I once felt for Annika might have gone dormant for a while, but it roars out of hibernation and makes me feel better about life than I have in a long time. There’s something so hopeful about being around her again.

might not always understand what people are saying, but I know when they’ve been kind.

“I want to work at a library someday,” I said. “I want to spend every waking day of my adult life surrounded by books.”

Sometimes it’s nice to sit quietly with someone.”

“Never allow a person to tell you no who doesn’t have the power to say yes,”

‘Do one thing every day that scares you’

‘Do what you feel in your heart to be right—for you’ll be criticized anyway.’”

“I’m trying to explain that the way you navigate the world will never be more important than the type of person you are.”

“There’s something about being with you that has always made me feel better about

Life isn’t easy for anyone. We all have challenges. We all face adversity. It’s how we overcome it that makes us who we are.”