X's and O's (Saint View Murder Squad, #1)

by Elle Thorpe

For the plus-size queens dreaming of being hunted by a masked psychopath, who thinks your favorite romance book is a how-to manual. X says hi. And he’ll see you in your bedroom. (Possibly from outside your window, but hey, details.)

💜

I’d written letters to Violet every week, and lately, multiple times a week for the past year. We’d started polite. Her early letters had been cautious, explaining her roommate had made her sign up for the program because it would be a good dinner party conversation and her life was otherwise pretty dull. I’d started the same, my letters stiff and formal. But somewhere along the way, both of us had started opening up. Week by week, I’d begun craving her letters. I read them over and over. Could practically hear her voice in my head, even though I’d never heard it in real life.

...

Oh my God. They were insane. They were an insane murder duo, who had probably escaped from some sort of asylum or Saint View Prison. And of course, I had to have the dumb luck to be tied up, ready to be served to them on a freaking silver platter.

🤣

Ugh. Stupid, good-looking, psychotic men. Of course he had to be gorgeous. The crazy ones always were. It was probably how he lured half his victims in. I’d probably have been stupid enough to follow his pretty brown eyes and muscled shoulders right into the back of his murder van filled with weapons and tied-up hostages.

.

The female rage inside me was real. These men could go to hell if they thought I was just going to be another statistic. A woman murdered by a man. A woman drowned then eaten by a shark. I was sure there were statistics about that too. I fumbled around on the countertop, never taking my eyes from the killers, but hating them with all my heart. My fingers caught the edge of an egg carton. I flicked it open and sent an egg flying in X’s direction, knowing full well it wouldn’t hurt him, but at this point, I was just fucking pissed off with the whole situation. So when it cracked right on the side of his face, sending gooey yolk down his neck and onto his shirt, something inside me was really damn satisfied. “Why are you throwing eggs at me?” X yelled at me. “We could make omelets with those!”

OMG I'm dying🤣

I didn’t know you could fall in love with someone in the space it took for them to pitch a rolling pin at your head. But here I was, utterly and completely in love with a woman who wouldn’t stop throwing things at me.

😏

I grinned at Scythe and mouthed, “I’m gonna marry her.” He just rolled his eyes. “What? I am!” “She’s throwing knives at you because you just killed a man in cold blood right in front of her, but sure. I’ll put on a tux and be your best man. We’ll have the ceremony next week on the island of Delulu.” I grinned at him. “That’s the spirit.”

😂X

“And your name is…?” I prompted. A tremble moved through her. “Why do you want to know?” That was easy. I grinned. “So I know what name to write on our marriage certificate.” She took a step to the side, seeming more scared than ever. Huh. Not the reaction I was expecting. And also a bit insulting. Still, it wouldn’t deter me. “Just your first name then? Pretty please?”

..X

“That is absolute bullshit, Violet Garrisen. And I will not have anybody, not even you, saying such mean things to my best friend.” He dragged me to my feet and marched me into my bedroom, standing me in front of the full-length mirror. “You are a beautiful bitch. A queen, by anyone’s definition. Do you know how many women would kill to be as tall as you? For hair that’s naturally blond? For those tits and that ass? Woman, if vaginas weren’t repulsive to me, then I would be all up in yours like it was the gateway to Heaven.”

😁 Everyone needs a best friend like Toby!

I screamed again, blindly groping around on the bedside table for something I could protect myself with. I picked up the first thing my fingers found and threw it at his head with the yell of a warrior. He caught my vibrator. I stared in horror at the purple buzzing device, slick with my arousal, clutched in his fingers. He glanced down at it, then lifted his head back up, his gaze meeting mine. He pulled off his mask. “Uh, this wasn’t in your book?” “Oh, sweet baby Jesus,” I uttered, staring at my sex toy in his hands and then up at the stupidly handsome face I’d literally just been masturbating over. “X! Get out!”

🤣🤣

“Violet?” he called from the living room. “Should I just leave your vibrator on the counter or…” The fact my bedroom floor had not turned into a sinkhole that was sucking me down into oblivion seemed very unfair. “You’re killing me, X! Get. Out!” “Fine, fine. Just one more question.” “Oh my God. What?” I shouted back to him. He stuck his head around the corner and gave me a wolfish grin. “Scale of one to ten. How mad would you be if I licked this thing like a lollipop?” I widened my eyes. He winked at me and tossed it back onto my bed. “Okay, love you!”

Friggin X is hilarious 😂

I couldn’t drag my gaze away from Levi’s. His green eyes were practically glowing with anger. And I was fucking attracted to it. The man had been in prison for years. I suddenly found myself wondering if he’d had his cellmate down on his knees for him, staring up into those green eyes while he sucked his cock. I flushed with heat just thinking about watching Levi get head from another man.

Whip😏

“Look. It’s clear we have a problem here. We all want Violet. True?” “True,” Levi and I both agreed. “We all have to work together, true?” “True,” Levi and I said in unison again. X grinned. “We all want Whip and Levi to kiss. True?”

😂TRUE! 😂